Culture

One big, happy Dominihaitian family

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I knew I’d be hearing tons of crazy talk on the day of the Apple iPad release, but Fox News contributor Daniel Rodriguez has surpassed my expectations. Rodriguez, who I suspect is of Hispanic origin, is proposing the most marvelous of cures for the Haitian post-earthquake debacle: Annex Haiti to the Dominican Republic. He bases his proposal on the fact that the two countries used to be one back in colonial Latin America, and posits that the merger would benefit both nations economically.

This guy is a genius. He’s bound to be one of 2010’s Nobel Prize for Economics nominees. I can feel it. Just wait until the Swedes hear about this; I bet they’ll name an IKEA bookcase after him. But in the meantime, I’m bestowing upon him the Barbarazo Award of The Week (sponsored by The Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh Center for Idiocracy), for his contributions to the deliberate tweaking of Dominican-Haitian history. In return, he has to renounce his rights to publishing anything on the internets – that includes Twittering and updating your Facebook status, you Keynes. Oh, and he should quit his job at Mercy College, for mercy’s sake.

Now, let me go back to the crazy talk I can actually enjoy: I heard that Hewlett Packard is coming out next month with the iPad’s competitor, the Hewlett Tampax.