Querido Santa,
First, thank you (or some people thank Dios, or the Mayans) for this olympics-and-election packed year, as well as the musical blessings and natural strikedowns that happened in 2012. THIS BEING SAID. All we want for Navidad is the following:
1. First and foremost, Jorge Ramos should be forever alive to bring peace to all Earthlings.
2. René from Calle 13 should definitely move to Brooklyn this time, so I can sit outside of his home like a creep and cheer at him every time he goes out to take the Subway or whatnot.
3. Joe Arpaio should divorce, start on some yoga, and marry a gay latina. (Is that reductive? He’s a little reductive.)
4. That Junot Díaz Daily Twitter keeps enlightening us with McArthur-Fellow-Jersey-Dominicano wisdom, and that El Bloombito never gets taken down.
5. We sincerely wish that “El Cartel,” the new tequila released by Daddy Yankee, does get a re-vamp, to say the least.
6. That hopefully, one day, all of our fillandering here at Remezcla will amount to a glorious moment of Babalu, like that of hubby Desi Arnaz.
7. That half-Cuban Florida hunk swimmer Ryan Lochte and Remezcla City Editor, Andrea Gompf, tie the knot this year, FOR THE BENEFIT OF HUMANITY.
8. While we’re on the subject of sports, my mother and I expect to receive Argentinian Soccer God Lionel Messi (AND his 86 goals) under our tree.
10. Finally, we ask that gay marriage becomes completely legal so that Diego Luna and Gael García Bernal can finally marry. Oh wait, it is legal in Mexico. BERNALUNA WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
Thank you Santa/Dios/Mayans, we will be expecting our gifts under the Xoxa Remezcla tree this Christmas day…Can’t wait.
Love,
Remezcla
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