QUE. CANTE. MI GENTE! We are back, y’all! Un cordial saludo to all my “East WillyB” gente out there. It’s been a while since we’ve seen our favorite characters from Bushwick, am I right? That’s okay, that’s alright, “East WillyB” is back to tickle your funny side. But enough bochinche – let’s get to the deets!
TENGO DE MAGO, DE PARCHA, DE PIÑA, DE FRESA, DE CHINA Y DE LIMÓN…
You know that old saying, if you can’t beat them, get yourself a piragua cart instead? Yeah, me neither. But, you can’t beat a guy for trying – no matter how delusional his dream may be. In an effort to mess with Albert’s clientele, Willy Jr. (ni corto, ni perezoso) decides to draw in patrons by selling them, what you ask? Piraguas! Definitely an old school approach, but much like that blasted Mister Softee ice cream truck song, it never goes out of style. Willy sets up shop right in front of Albert’s bar – and although his small efforts are brave, we all know he’s doing it to win back his beloved Maggie. The gesture is so syrupy sweet, it practically gives you cavities. *SPOILER ALERT* 😕
On another note, does homie even have a vendor’s license? I guess, ya eso es otra cosa – because we New Yorkers know that Miguel Bloombito does not play. So, before you setup shop, get your paperwork in order boo-boo. “Woop-woop, that’s the sound of da police/ Woop-woop, that’s the sound of the beast.” Shout out to KRS-ONE.
I’M NOT A PLAYER, I JUST CRUSH A LOT… OF ZIRCONIUM
Ceci, wanting to build and strengthen family ties, goes on the hunt to find her biological parents. Does she seek a private detective? Well, kind of, sort of. :/ Enano, (which translates to shorty – and going by this picture, I’ll let y’all digest that joke for yourselves) the resident hustler, offers to help Ceci – for the sum of $700 dollars. She grabs him by the ear like a big ol’ Mr. Potato Head and gives him $50 dollars instead. Don’t get me wrong, I respect everybody’s Huggy Bear hustle – but $700?! And you’re selling zirconium goods like they were legit? Brotha pleeeease. :/
RUN THIS TOWN
Ah, brother Cesar… where do I begin? It’s bad enough you’re rolling in the deep with a massive chip on your shoulder – but what really gets me, is how the wires must’ve crossed in his head when he appointed himself the El Comandante Guevara of Bushwick. Harassing neighbors and scaring young children will only guarantee you a permanent vacation to the cuckoo’s nest, boo.
Speaking of cuckoos, what is up with the cartons of eggs?! Ya van tres veces, yo! Dang it, I should’ve bet money on it. lulz. For this episode, we once again see our favorite residents packing heat with them dang eggs. And at this point, I’m thinking this must be some subliminal thing to help increase the bodega revenues in Bushwick, am I right? I get it, and I’ll be sure to do my grocery shopping in Bushwick very soon. Oh, and just for that shout-out, I better get a discount too. 😉
COME BACK TO ME
After closing time at Albert’s bar, Willy Jr. decides to stalk, oops, I mean surprise Maggie – because for some reason he’s convinced himself that he can win her back. His persistence is commendable – but at this point we all know he’s just punching under water. Maggie is livid and basically tells Willy something along the lines of “if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it…oh, oh, OH!
And much like Janet Jackson’s second marriage, Maggie makes it crystal clear that it is O.V.E.R. between her and Willy. During their spat, we can see that Albert may not be Maggie’s cup of tea – but she has aspirations to adapt to the change and evolve past the old neighborhood. On the other hand, Willy Jr. being his usual 8-Track self, is left heartbroken with only sad love songs to ease his pain.
“Si tengo una pena, que hiere muy hondo. Yo soy el cantante, por que lo mio es cantar. Y el publico paga para poderme escuchar.”
So, what can we to anticipate for episode four? Will Ceci find her birth parents and have that perfect kodak moment? Or will Enano five-and-dime her like his cheap collection of dollar store jewelry? Will Cesar calm down with his revolutionary cause, or is somebody itching to check himself into the psych ward at Bellevue? I hear Nurse Ratched is still on call there. 😉 Will Willy Jr’s piragua idea be his bar’s salvation, or will Albert get a “no loitering” sign outside of his establishment? Will we see Willy Jr. and Maggie finally make amends, or will this situation get even more ratchet?
Catch the full episode below. Stay fresh y hasta la próxima…