L.A. native Danny Trejo plays a Colombian crime lord’s muscle. Need we say more? If we must, All About the Money looks like a straight to home release and the biggest names attached to it are Trejo, Eddie Griffin, and Casper Van Dien. Starring and directed by Blake Freeman (Noobz), the film centers on three regular guys who end up getting the grand idea to take down a Colombian crime lord with a $25 million bounty on his head but one of them ends up kidnapped instead.
The trailer hits the expected tone-deaf casting of Latinos as only criminals and with the most generic of names. Juan Armando Garcia, played by New York native Jose Yenque, is Colombia’s biggest crime lord that US news outlets report on. Centering around the lead actor-director (yes, he’s both) who – after seeing the bounty on Garcia’s head – ropes his down-on-their-luck friends into taking a vacation, but he’s actually gaslighting them into helping him take down Garcia.
The following are stereotypical plot points we caught just from this one trailer:
Griffith does a lot of yelling about being tricked by his friend: check ✓
And is very angry: check ✓
Trejo shows up and threatens them: check ✓
Kidnaps Van Dien: check ✓
Van Dien falls in love with Garcia’s sexy little sister: check ✓
Sexy little sister is clad in leather with cleavage hanging out: check ✓
She has no lines: check ✓
They get help from an unhinged vet who thinks he’s still in the war: check ✓
But hey, it’s all totally plausible because wouldn’t you fly to a foreign country to take down a crime lord for America and collect $25 million? It’s $25 million dollars, as the trailer repeatedly reminds the viewer. It’s completely out of touch, promoting the idea that going to a “third world country” to impose western superiority is no big thing and portrays the people of Colombia as one-dimensional. Especially when the country and it’s people aren’t either of those things. It’s as if gringos think Netflix’s fictionalized Narcos series is a documentary about present-day Colombia. Newsflash: a lot has changed since the heyday of Pablo Escobar’s Medellín cartel in the 1980s.
It’s pretty obvious All About The Money wasn’t actually all about the money with sets that look more like Malibu homes than real Colombian Estates, terrible dialogue, pigeonholed talent, and the caliber of acting the film could afford for its mediocre leads. It’s going to be a hard pass from us.
Cringe through the trailer and it’s use of a terrible cover of California Love.
All About the Money hits theaters and on demand June 2, 2017.