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Absolute Brings the Mangoes

After years of loyalty, decades of dedication, fiesta tras fiesta of love…Absolute Vodka finally thanked its Latino paisano! That’s right, this week, Absolute introduced its first-ever mango flavored vodka and with the economy tanking faster everyday, a night with free open bar and free mangoes on a stick was the best way to spend a Tuesday night I could think of. Fellow Remezclera Marina Hopkins also jumped on board to this assignment (thanks for the photos!). I never thought “mangoes” could be as versatile as what I saw that night.

Welcoming all guests at the door was a vendedora de mangos making the infamous flowered mangoes we love in the summer.  Small palm trees and mango crates were the decor for the night to the sound of old-school salsa music, and anything else that sounded “mango-themed.”  Sexy actress/model and proud Latina Roselyn Sanchez was in attendance as well, with her very protective security making it a hassle to even see who they were protecting.  I was unaware of how aggressive the security for The Rock’s co-star in The Game Plan movie could be until they shoved the whole line at the bar just so Miss Sanchez could be surrounded by real Latinos having a good time as she posed for pictures with her perfect model smile.  Once the flashing lights died out, she enjoyed the party from her private “hut” adorned with palms,security guards and yes, more mangoes!

In reality, who caught everyone’s attention was not the Without A Trace star but a a semi-naked model as she spent the night getting spray-painted to look like some kind of wild cougar.  When she asked if I wanted to “hold her mangoes” I thought it’d be best to hit the main stage. The centerpiece of the room was of course, the bar.  It was set up perfectly under a fully bloomed mango tree and gave the party an authentic outdoor feel.

The drinks menu of the night consisted of three drinks: Absolute Mango Spice, Absolute Mango Fizz and Sage Lady.  The crowd pleaser was definitely the Absolute Mango Spice; it had the most authentic mango taste and had that “estare borracho?” feeling we all love.  The most appealing was the Sage Lady but after drinking it, I began wondering what it was I had just chugged.  It tasted like a mojito, was served in a tall glass like a mojito, was clear like a mojito, but wasn’t a mojito.  By itself it was a decent drink, a little bit of alcohol and a little juice taste; compared to a mojito, it was pretty bad.

The only drink that looked like it was made from an actual mango was the Spice drink.  The other two looked like fancy drinks not made for those who like to dance and drink at the same time.  Which was exactly the case because dancing was non-existent at this wonderful event. There were plenty of mangoes and lots of people but apparently no real Latinos?  The DJ played the Spanish music that has helped us get to have vodkas geared towards us; he played Shakira, some remake to El General and even Elvis Crespo but who knows, no one felt compelled to shake it. The sound of people not dancing just left me deaf at one point.

By the end of the night, as the bar prepared for it’s last call at 10pm (!), I set out to conquer the last of the three drinks but was shut down by the bartender.  I’m not sure what he was missing but he served me up a non-mango looking drink that packed the punch of a heavyweight fighter!  I appreciated the nice gesture but wanted to remember what to write about so left half of it for a less responsible party guest (not Marina, but very well could’ve been.)