Burritos and Basketball

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I’m not the biggest basketball fan, let alone a New Jersey Nets fan, but I am cheap, and this past Saturday I couldn’t pass up one of the better deals I’ve seen on the internet in a while. For the price of three measly George Washingtons (I’m talking quarters), hooked up my prime seat in the very last row of the IZOD Center. And, to top things off, on my way into the arena, an especially Anglo voice announced it was Latin night with “Oro So-lee-doh, elle presidentay delle merengay.”

With Oro Solido as the half-time entertainment, Goya as the official sponsor, and my seat purchased with leftover laundry cash, I knew antics were sure to follow. But Oro Solido left the crowd wishing it had taken advantage of the bathroom break. The group came out asking, “Where the single ladies at?,” and left soon after chanting their standard, “Hasta las quince!” with random Nets male dancers break dancing and the females latinizing their dance routine. They left in a hurry, alas, the single ladies never to be found.

The real craziness took place during a time-out. How much havoc can really ensue during a standard minute break? Never doubt the power of corporate sponsors. As the Nets huddled off to the side, the big screen turned on, and Sly the Fox, the Nets mascot, was shown picking up an order Chipotle burritos. He then arrived on the court to deliver the foiled-wrapped pre-packaged Latin goods (let’s not forget the night’s theme). Sly then SHOT the burritos into the crowd. Yes, shot. Mexican chow flew into the crowd, courtesy of a t-shirt gun. “Who wants free burritos?” asked the airy blonde. Look, I can’t lie, I was hungry, and I was there because it cost me less than a dollar, remember? Of course I wanted a free burrito. But this was too much.

I would have thrown it back.