For those pet owners who believe that a dog is truly “man’s best friend” have apparently never met Prancer, a chihuahua whose owner says is basically the Devil incarnate.
On Twitter, user @HLMongoose posted a message from Prancer’s owner, Tyfanee Fortuna, who simply can’t handle the “demonic chihuahua” any longer. She has enlisted the services of Second Chance Pet Adoption League to help her find Prancer a new home. The message has since gone viral because of how brutally honest and hilarious Fortuna is in describing the dog’s nightmarish personality traits.
“There’s not a very big market for neurotic, man hating, animal hating, children hating dogs that look like gremlins,” Fortuna writes. “If you’re intrigued and horrified at how this animal sounds already, just wait…there’s more.”
Fortuna then goes on to explain that Prancer’s last owner was an “elderly woman who treated him like a human and never socialized him,” which has turned him into what she describes as “a vessel for a traumatized Victorian child that now haunts our home.”
Prancer only likes women and “hates men more than women do.” Fortuna suggests not to adopt Prancer “if you have a husband…unless you hate him.” According to Fortuna, he has never been in the presence of a child but doesn’t think an encounter would go very well.
“I can already imagine the demonic noises and shaking fury that would erupt from his body,” Fortuna writes. “Prancer wants to be your only child.”
Since Fortuna is trying to find Prancer a good home, she does list some of his qualities: he’s loyal, housebroken, knows some basic commands and is “kind of cute to look at,” although Fortuna admits they sometimes call him “bologna face.” And they’re wondering why he’s so angry all the time?
Maybe he’s just mad because someone named him after a wimpy reindeer. Rename him “Killer” and we bet he’ll be more self-confident and act less like a “Chucky doll in a dog’s body.”