Your probably don’t remember who Lil Debbie is. I definitely didn’t. So when I first saw the headline in Miami New Times reporting that her crew punched Cuban/German “Miami Bass Warrior” Otto Von Schirach, the first thing that sprang to mind was this:
But some light googling reminded me where we’ve seen Lil Debbie before: in Kreayshawn’s “Gucci Gucci” video, and as a member in Kreay’s White Girl Mob. After White Girl Mob’s 15 minutes of fame were up, Lil Debbie embarked on a solo career which seems to have consisted primarily of trying to start beef with other artists.
- Lil Debbie on Miley Cyrus: “That bitch ruins everything for me, fucking everything.”
- Lil Debbie on Iggy Azalea: “I reached out to Iggy Azalea before she blew up and the bitch acted like she was too good for me.”
From what I can gather, Debbie’s upset she doesn’t get credit for pioneering the appropriation of “ratchet culture” before Cyrus and Azalea appropriated it, which triggers an automatic side-eye reaction from me.
Photo: Monica McGivern via Miami New Times
This brings me to Lil Debbie’s latest beef, with Miami’s own Otto Von Schirach. Miami New Times reports that Lil Debbie and her entourage tried to get into it with Schirach when when he jumped on the stage during her recent performance at The Nest, publishing he said-she said accounts of why the fight went down.
“There was an opener [Otto Von Schirach] that we didn’t know, and dude was drunk in the crowd, yelling loud and crazy. The only reason we heard him was that the sound system in this club [the Nest] was horrible; it kept going in and out, and the lights cut off in the place. While all this was going on, you could hear the dude yelling, and he’s shouting a vulgar Spanish word [pinga], and people are like, ‘He’s sayin’ penis, penis.’ […] Then the dude comes through the crowd to the stage and grabs the microphone. He just pushes her… and grabs the mic.
“We were screaming in the back because she was like, ‘Turn up, you guys are sleepy,’ so we were trying to turn up. I’m actually a fan; I was excited to see her. She invited us onstage, like, ‘Whoever is screaming come up to the front,’ and I heard it like, ‘Turn up, let’s have a show.’ […] She shoves the mic in my face, and I was gonna say like, ‘Yo, Lil Debbie, fuckin’ Miami, what’s up? Let’s do this’ or whatever, and all of a sudden, she pushed my face, and her DJ comes and starts swinging at me.
Though Lil Debbie has since sent off a bunch of tweets about the incident, Otto has opted for the high road of not engaging, though he does want to set the record straight about the pushing allegation, saying:
“She’s saying that I hit her, and I didn’t. I’m Cuban; I was raised never to hit a woman. I’ve been beat the fuck out of by women, y’know, and I won’t hit ’em back. I never hit Lil Debbie. If I would ever hit a woman, my grandma would come back to life and beat me.”
Based on our experiences with angry abuelas, we’re envisioning something like this (except Cuban):