Buen dia, my Washington Heights homies and homettes! Ustedes vieron the big drama-mama last night? Episode 8 of “Washington Heights” was definitely a two piece and a biscuit special – aka finger lickin’ good! Let’s get down to the T:
PLAYING DOUBLE DUTCH
JP (aka Audubon) may be a smooth talker when it comes to his daily grind, but when it comes to “romancing the stone,” he’s definitely on the short bus. We finally see homie try to wine and dine a potential mate by the name of Arlene. Arlene seems like a good girl from around the way – she’s independent, has no kids (that we know of), and has a steady 9 to 5. What does he do to impress her? He tells her that he starts off the day by watching the “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” (I kid you not) followed by the worst thing a guy can do: he pulls out the dutch card! *GASP* And in sixty seconds time we see Arlene’s face go from genuine interest to NO. HE. DIDN’T!
But what’s really perplexing, is that she makes a comeback later on in the episode – she must really like you, bro. If this was real life, your behind would’ve been walking home alone, and the phone would have been permanently disconnected. “Who are you? No, sorry, I can’t recall.”
TO BE A FLY ON THE WALL… LITERALLY
Where the hell did Audubon’s crew decide to shoot his latest music video? The space looked damp, dreary, and looked like something straight out of the movie “Saw.” No bueno!
IT WAS ALL A DREAM
Oh, brother Danny – where do I begin? Your responsibility is not to look cute for the cameras, but rather, to make sure you’re on top of your game. (i.e. making sure your client is on time!) Time is money and no one is New York City works on the “Washington Heights clock. Surprise, surprise, they don’t make it to the first gig on time. Where do they go post flub, you ask? Audubon’s “scheduled” second gig of the night – a barbershop/lounge in the boondocks of Queens. The establishment is called “Dream” but really looks like a nightmare – with faulty equipment to match.”Take out in the rear” lulz.
Fast forward to a meeting with Riggs, an A&R rep. for “Shady Records,” and once again, we see Danny is all thumbs. Riggs had seen Audubon play at a showcase and seemed interested in a business deal – he suggested for his “management” to send him at least three music videos to get a sense of his style – and what does he get instead? Bupkis! To Audubon’s embarrassment, he has to excuse the error as a misunderstanding to not lose face. Oh, brother Danny – you need to go to church and pray to San Pedro de Macorís for guidance ’cause you really need help, bro.
MEETING IN THE LADIES ROOM
Speaking of needing help, Frankie is still playing the martyr when it comes to her love escapades with Ludwin; and so her homettes, Reyna and Taylor, cook-up a plan to find Frankie another man. Although somewhat reluctant, Frankie decides to take a leap of faith.
YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT
However, Ludwin was not singing “Candy Girl” with the new addition. At Audubon’s video premiere party, Ludwin looked like he had been sucking on a big bag of lemons once he saw Kelvis (the new guy) move in on his girl. A word to the wise fellas, don’t throw temper tantrums (aka sucking on your back teeth like you’re having molar problems) once someone else takes notice of what you’ve dismissed – you snooze, you lose!
PS: Who names their kid Kelvis? It’s either Kelvin or Elvis, it cannot be both – stop it, already!
LOVE DON’T LIVE HERE ANYMORE
Towards the end of the episode, we see that conditions between Eliza and Jimmy have not improved post breakup. She’s still in a vulnerable state and now questions Jimmy’s fidelity – could the girl have some needy issues? Perhaps. However, this allegation of infidelity sends Jimmy into a rage – I thought for sure he was going to turn into “The Incredible Hulk” with all those veins popping out of a his neck! Grrrrrr. In the last few seconds of the episode, he calms down and tries to salvage what little relationship he has left – but sadly, it’s a no ma’am, Pam.
So, what can we expect for next week’s episode? Will Ludwin finally come correct with Frankie post eating crow? And, now that Frankie has seen bigger & better fish, will she want to commit to Ludwin? Is Arlene really going to continue to play double dutch with Audubon? And, is Audubon going to continue to let Danny manage his career?
Stay tuned y hasta la próxima…