"Senior Democratic Policy Leaders" Set to Party With Pitbull

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According to a Democratic National Convention press release, three Democratic super PACS will be throwing a giant DNC closing party called “Super-O-Rama,” set to take place after President Obama accepts the Democratic Party’s presidential nomination in Charlotte on September 6th. The party will double as a big fundraising push; Democrats are hoping that donors with the big bucks will want to get crunk and rub elbows with “senior Democratic policy leaders,” according to a fundraising appeal they sent out.

When they say “senior” policy leaders, they probably mean “high-ranking” and not “very elderly persons,” but calling the party Super-O-Rama is not really helping us to make that distinction. In any event, among the star-studded roster of hosts and performers is none other than the ubiquitous Pitbull – or as we like to call him here at Remezcla, The Human Airhorn.

In honor of this performer choice, I’d like to take a moment to revisit a few of the lyrics that I would most like to hear Pitbull utter before an audience of major Dem donors and leaders:

1. “Mommy got a boom bang bing bang ding dang/No digga dee, no doubt, Imma hit that/That thing so fat, look like she got an Oompa Loompa in her pants.” – Boomerang. I love these lyrics because they are straight up gibberish. My only guess for how this happened is that Pitbull and Stefon got together, did some drugs and then performed their interpretation of The Name Game song.

2. “Mami got an ass like a donkey with a monkey, look like King Kong.” – I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho). Free association at its best. I would love to meet this “mami” he keeps referring to, because it sounds like she’s got a lot going for her. Also, maybe this was a symbolic reference to the Democratic Donkey and Pitbull is trying to tell us she has an ass like a liberal-leaning socially progressive person.

3. “The night is young, and if you shave (hey hey hey hey hey)/I’ll give you some of this mighty tongue heeey” – Culo. Sorry but this lyric is all the reason I need to never get a bikini wax again.

4. “Me not working hard?/ Yeah right! Picture that with a Kodak/Or, better yet, go to Times Square/Take a picture of me with a Kodak.” – Give Me Everything. Rhyming “kodak” with “kodak” is a very advanced and rare form of artistry. Also, total coincidence I’m sure, but Pitbull has an endorsement deal with Kodak. This is almost as bad as that time J Lo performed at the AMAs with a Fiat on stage.

5. “Give credit where credit is due don’t cha/Know that I don’t give a number two.” – Back in Time. You can have all of the credit for writing this lyric, Pitbull. Nobody else is trying to keep that credit.

The only thing I want more than for Pitbull to perform one of these lyrics at Super-O-Rama is for Hillary Clinton to get down at the party like she did in South Africa:

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