Yefri Cotize, the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Tuitel

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Jose Canseco just got demoted on my “Twitter Gigglez LOLOLOL LMAOOOO” List. The culprit? A man named Yefri Cotize, whose butchered, phonetic spelling makes El Bloombito’s Spanish look like the Real Academia Española.

Here is the sum total of what I’ve been able to find out about him:

1. He’s from the Dominican Republic.
2. He has nearly 4,000 followers but only follows 7 people – two of which are accounts that only tweet out questions for “when you’re bored.”
3. He looks like this:

Yefri is currently tweeting diamonds and gold and other #rare gemstones at @RealYefriCotize (can only assume he added the “Real” in there in case you were worried that it was @FakeYefriCotize). A few highlights: