MAJOR SPOILER WARNING FOR THE LAST OF US SEASON 2!!!
It’s here. It happened. HBO’s The Last of Us Season 2 delivered on the big moment we’ve all been dreading, the one that is pretty much the inciting moment for The Last of Us: Part II and as such, the one thing the second season of the show could not avoid: the death of Joel Miller (Pedro Pascal). And though the brutal moment was brought to the screen with great care and nuance by Pascal, Bella Ramsey, and Kaitlyn Dever, who plays Abby, the emotional ramifications of what happened to Joel go beyond the impact of the specific moment, and the choices the show made to make it more charged.
Because what The Last of Us Season 2 did with Joel’s death was use a post-apocalyptic world to frame a very real idea: we live on borrowed time. And we never know what moment could be the last.
This isn’t a new idea, of course. TV and movies have often tried to harp on the importance of using your time wisely, of saying things when you have the chance. The Last of Us itself has already played on this notion, as any post-apocalyptic show worth its salt would. Joel lost Sarah first, and there’s so much he wishes he had said. So much he wishes he had done. He lost Tess, too, and that cuts just as much. But there’s nothing like the bond between a parent and a child. Nothing like that loss.
And that’s partly why Joel has behaved with Ellie the way he has. Because he’s learned his lesson. One could even say he’s taken the lesson way too seriously. But he’s been burned before. Once Joel let himself love Ellie, once he let her in, there was no going back. He wasn’t just going to love her, he was going to slaughter an entire facility full of Fireflies for her, he was going to make a home for her, and he was going to do what it took to keep her safe—and make her happy. Even if it killed him.
I relate to that very deeply. I lost my father a decade ago, and though I don’t have a specific regret—something specific I remember not saying—there are still fifty things I sit and think about that I wish I could have said. He went to bed on a normal night, I went to bed on a normal night, and then woke up in the middle of the night to screams. We had to call an ambulance, and whatever I might have wanted to say, I never had the chance to. I didn’t have to see him leave me like Ellie did, but like Ellie, I also wished for him to get up, and he never did. I also had a lot more to say, even if I didn’t know what it was.
And I also would have burned the world down to get one more chance.
That’s exactly what’s coming now on The Last of Us. This isn’t a tale of forgiveness. It wasn’t for Abby, who came after Joel to get revenge for her father. And it won’t be for Ellie, who will go after Abby to get revenge for Joel. But for our grief, this is more about what Ellie’s desire says about us. Because it’s less about the idea of retribution and more the perverse notion that revenge is the same thing as proving to that person you lost that you love them, one more time. You couldn’t protect them, but you can prove your love to them by getting payback, even if payback doesn’t do them any good.
Sometimes TV holds a mirror to our best and our worst impulses. The Last of Us, a show based on a video game, one based on a post-apocalyptic world where zombies roam the world, doesn’t exactly seem like the kind of series that would manage to do that and showcase any type of real emotions. And yet here we are. Ellie’s pain is real because we have been there. We have also lost, and we have also reacted badly, and we have also become lost in our grief. And perhaps, if Ellie can find a way out of it, if she can find some light in the darkness—even when that seems impossible, so can we.
The Last of Us season 2 is now airing on HBO.
