John Turturro’s Pervy Character “The Jesus” Is the Star of ‘The Big Lebowski’ Spinoff

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In this time of seemingly endless wars, economic hardship, and Ryan Lochte, one question continues to unite beleaguered film nerds across world: what would “The Jesus” do? Of course, in this case it’s not a reminder to live a life of Christian compassion, but rather an endless speculation around the future of John Turturro’s brilliant supporting turn in the Coen Brothers’ 1998 cult classic The Big Lebowski.

For years Turturro has been talking about his desire to spin off the cocky LA bowling savant with a shady sexual history into a full-length feature, but the brothers Coen have never been particularly keen on the idea of sequels. Thankfully, though, the heavens have smiled upon The Jesus, and this week sources confirmed that Turturro is shooting an adaptation of the ’70s French sex comedy Les Valseuses featuring none other than Jesús Quintana in the starring role.

Directed by Bertrand Blier, 1974’s Les Valseuses followed a crew of petty criminals as they went about having sex with virgins, ex-convicts, and a kidnapping victim who is unable to achieve orgasm. It comes off as pretty racy material, but it’s also right up The Jesus’ sexually deviant alley. The Coen Brothers are apparently in no way creatively affiliated with the production, but they presumably gave their blessing to their good friend and close collaborator. In addition to his starring turn, Turturro is behind the project as both the writer and director.

Titled Going Places – which also happens to be the English title of the original Les Valseuses – the independent production will feature Bobby Cannavale, Susan Sarandon, and Audrey Tautou alongside Turturro’s Jesus.

Thank the film gods, our prayers have been answered.