Latinos Assemble!

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There are questions that have been asked since the dawn of man. Why are we here? Does free will truly exist? Why hasn’t he/she called back?

Then there is a question that kids and adults ask. What superhero would you be? Everyone has fantasized about being one. But there is an issue; a lot of the superheroes out there simply don’t look like a lot of us. The Avengers killed at the box office this past weekend – and is really, really awesome – but it’s a team of white dudes. (One of them is sometimes green.) In other words; where are the Latin superheroes? Well, we at Remezcla have compiled a list of superheroes who do in fact, look like us.

Before you say “They probably created lame ass heroes like Taco Boy”, we have news for you. These heroes run the gauntlet from lesser known ones to the top dogs at Marvel and DC Comics to independent publishers.

If we assembled a super-team, this is what it would look like.

01. Ultimate Spider Man


Everyone knows Spider-Man’s alter-ego is Peter Parker – and if you missed it, no worries, the movies are getting a reboot this Summer – but in 2011, Marvel Comics decided to change all of that. Meet Miles Morales, who we’ve already written about once before. He is the first Spider-Man incarnation to be of mixed-race, and the inspiration for the change came from numerous sources, both a fan push to cast Donald Glover in the reboot, as well as the sense that…well…isn’t it just about time? Obama was in office and a healthy dose of iconoclasm was what set the whole thing off. As for Morales, he is the product of a Black father and a Dominican mother; he’s your typical nerd except for the whole superhuman angle. His origins are similar to that of Peter Parker and he even succeeds Parker after the latter’s demise at the hands of the Green Goblin.

To be clear, this change is not canonical…well not really…well it is in the Ultimates line but not in the…you know what, forget it. Anyway, reaction has been mixed; conservative and all-around douche Lou Dobbs went on a tirade over the decision to change Spider-Man’s ethnicity while others have been much more supportive, such as Stan Lee himself. Suck on that Dobbs!

Any action figures?

Not for this incarnation. Yet. He does appear in a video game or two, though.

02. Bane


As the trailers on YouTube have shown, Bane is the lead villain for The Dark Knight Rises. While the Joker maybe the caped crusader’s most well known enemy, it was Bane that “broke the bat”. As for his ethnicity, Bane hails from the fictional Caribbean island of Santa Prisca, so the best we can do is to list him as a Hispanic. In any case, Bane is known for his brute strength as well as for his genius. Because comics do not reflect physical reality, Bane is able to rise to the top of the underworld by using a weird substance that is continuously pumped via tubes into the back of his head. The upcoming film has Tom Hardy playing Bane. We don’t really see a problem since Bane wears a mask anyway and his daddy is a Brit. But, since he does come from a fictional Latin country, he’s a member. Plus his gimp mask looks pretty rad. Why is a villain on a super-team? Well, Bane sort of comes around later, in the comics.

Any action figures?

Are you kidding? Yeah, like tons. And more on the way.

03. El Dorado

[DC/Hanna Barbera]

Yes, (super)friends, El Dorado himself is included! Easily one of the greatest heroes ever conceived. He was too good and too pure for lasting appeal or much in the way of merchandise! Anywho, El Dorado is a Mexican man who is blessed with the powers of teleportation, illusions and superhuman strength. But he has another power – possibly his greatest. The fine folks behind the show Super Friends decided to include El Dorado in an effort to be diverse, a comic version of affirmative action in a way. Since his name wasn’t enough to clue people in on his ethnicity, the character would sprinkle Spanish phrases in ordinary sentences. Trust me, you will be a changed person once you’ve heard him utter the sentence “That is not simpático!” Plus he had a rad character design with an upper costume that managed to cover only the middle of his chest and torso, leaving everything else bare.To be fair, the character was an attempt to reflect the changes in American society since the 1960’s. Identity politics was becoming a force to be reckoned with and DC Comics along with Hanna Barbera decided to jump the gun.

Any Action Figures?

Yes, but good luck finding them

04. Aztek


We can assure you that despite sharing the same spelling as the shitty SUV, Aztek is a badass. He’s a member of the Justice League and he fights for the ancient Aztec god, Quetzalcoatl. He has an awesome costume which consists of a spiked helmet and armor. Just as you think he couldn’t be more of a badass, Aztek is the personification of an ubermensch. Sheer perfection in body and mind, Aztek is single-minded in his mission. However, the Q Society, the organization that gave him his identity, is funded by none other than Lex Luthor, forcing Aztek to quit. He ends up sacrificing himself in order to allow Superman to destroy a doomsday machine.

Any action figures?

Yes, but selection is limited.

05. The Santerians


Sounds sorta like “Sanitarians” which is what a white supremacist civil militia would call itself. The Santerians are a group of vigilantes that patrol the streets of New York, sorta like the Guardian Angels but without lame uniforms and a douchy leader like Curtis Sliwa. What makes these guys Latin? The head honcho is a man named Nestor Rodriguez who led a vigilante group in his teens. As he drifted into adulthood he became influenced by the Caribbean religion Santería. He then gained powers through the gods which are mostly mental. The funny thing about the group is that all of the members gained their powers through faith. The members are named after gods such as Eleggua and their faith in a way, is their greatest power. All of the superheroes listed above were either born that way or went about it the old-fashioned way; horrific experimentation! The creator, Joe Quesada based his creation on himself in a way; he’s Cuban and into Santeria, as everyone knows is mostly associated with the island nation.

Any action figures?

No. (Boo!)

06. Araña/Spider-Girl


“Two spider-heroes on one team?” you ask? Screw you, we respond. Anya Sofia Corazon is a half-Mexican, half-Puerto Rican high school student from Brooklyn recruited into a secret Latin cult called The Spider Society and given spider-like powers, similar to Spider Man but not quite. After temporarily losing her powers a while after Marvel’s massive Civil War story arc, she took the name Spider-Girl, and then, you know, regained her powers. Now she’s part of the Avengers Academy, so who knows? Maybe we’ll see her in the sequel.

Any Action Figures?