This week, the old, tousled wig known as Donald Trump decided to try and paint himself as a respectable, even-tempered candidate who is willing to reach across the aisle to make pragmatic policy decisions. Indeed, after making a bizarre and painfully tone-deaf appeal to African-American voters at a campaign stop in Michigan, Trump actually sat down with Hispanic Republicans on Thursday and underwent a profound spiritual transformation.
It’s not clear whether these Hispanics fed the rambling megalomaniac peyote and took him on a vision quest, or simply convinced him to say whatever was necessary to secure the Latino vote. Either way, Trump is now officially willing to consider “legalizing the status of some undocumented immigrants.” Which is the exact opposite of everything he’s ever said, ever.
Still, an explanation for this ideological schizophrenia isn’t too hard to dream up. It seems in light of the candidate’s abysmal poll numbers, the Republican establishment finally got a leash on the stubby-fingered Dorito monster and are making a last-ditch effort to not totally bomb this election. For their part, the Hispanic conservatives present at this historical meeting were overjoyed that Trump was so willing to hear them out and repeat the last four words of everything they said in a conciliatory tone.
Most of us, however, aren’t buying Drumpf’s latest snake oil schtick. It only takes a quick glance at his recent nationwide campaign ad to see that the aging embustero is still playing his divide and conquer game like a selfish elementary schooler. The poorly edited 30-second spot “Two Americas” plays out like the opening sequence of Cops with grainy images of Latinos skulking around menacingly as a voiceover hammers away at keywords like “illegal immigrants,” “crimes,” “social security,” and “skipping the line.”
In case you were worried that the born-again immigrant rights activist would win over a few converts ahead of the November elections, here’s how some of our most highly respected Latinos reacted to Trump’s ridiculous ploy.
United We Dream
Javier Palomarez, President of Hispanic Chamber of Commerce