Before Kate del Castillo and Sean Penn went to visit Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán in Mexico, Kate and El Chapo communicated through BBM. They used secret code names (for example: Olvidado, Papá, M, M Guapa, and Ermoza) and also communicated through El Chapo’s lawyer, Andrés Granados.
Milenio allegedly got the messages, which they said they had to edit because they were riddled with typos. And though there were some interesting tidbits all around, (like when El Chapo’s lawyer describes Sean Penn as the “most recognized actor in the United States,” and has to remind El Chapo who the actor was multiple times), the true star of these texts was El Chapo.
In these messages, he basically stops short of confessing his love for del Castillo through his lengthy messages. Sopitas probably put it best when they said that the messages were a “history of a real life friendzoning.”
Check out a collection of El Chapo’s cringey messages to Kate, as translated by us:
When he asked her to come visit him
Kate del Castillo was going to Mexico for a few days, though she said she wasn’t really there “to vacation exactly.” On September 25, Guzmán sent her a series of long messages.
El Chapo: Amiga, if you bring the wine, I’ll also drink from your glass, since I like tequila and Bucana, but I’ll drink the tequila you bring and champagne. I’m not much of a drinker, but because your presence will be so lovely [I will drink]. I really want to meet you and become really good friends. You’re the best thing in the world. We’ll be great friends. Find out when you can return to Mexico. Hopefully, it’s soon. It’ll be worthwhile to wait so that we can have a week to prepare. I will take care of everything so that you don’t need anything, which would make me feel bad. Trust that you’ll be taken care of. I will take care of you more than my own eyes.
When El Chapo wanted her to bring whoever she wanted
When he wasn’t BBMing Kate, he was messaging his lawyer. At one point, El Chapo’s lawyer learns that Kate wants to bring Sean Penn along, someone his lawyer said was desperate to meet El Chapo.
El Chapo: Yes, let her bring the actor, and if she thinks she needs to bring more people, let her bring them, whatever she wants.
When he wanted to buy her a new phone
On September 26, El Chapo wanted to buy Kate a new phone, which led to an extensive back and forth with his lawyer on the merits of iPhones, Samsungs Galaxies, Blackberry Leaps and tablets, finally settling on the Blackberry.
Between these texts, the Chapo silk shirts that are flying off the shelves, and del Castillo’s tequila Honor plugs, El Chapo is turning out to be quite the brand ambassador, just saying.
El Chapo: Rest, and at 9 let me know how much [the phone] costs please. Give it to her. After you buy it. Better make it a surprise so that she can’t turn it down, and you can just persuade her when you take it to her. We have to see what colors there are and give her a color for women…
There was also a lot of back and forth about finding her a pink phone, because according to Guzmán the phone should be a woman-appropriate color. uhhhh ??
When he let her call the shots
El Chapo: When the phone is charged, let me know when I can send her an invitation. Ask the lady at what time I can send her a message, because she doesn’t want me to message her without authorizing the hour.
El Chapo: Tell Kate that when she comes we will drink tequila and dance, tell her like that.
When he finally gets in contact with her
With her new phone in hand, Kate and El Chapo have another conversation on September 26.
Papá:Guapa [aka El Chapo]: Amiga, you’ll go to Sinaloa. Trust that everything will be fine, if not, I wouldn’t invite you. I’ll take care of you, you’ll see this when you come. And I’ll have to drink your tequila with you. Like I told you, I don’t drink much, but with you I’ll drink because I will be happy to coexist with you. Thank you for being such a good person. You are so beautiful, amiga, in all aspects.
When he didn't mind waiting
Kate was talking about her busy schedule. She told him she just had her makeup put on and that she hoped to not finish late.
1 [aka El Chapo]: I will be waiting for you. You told me that the first week in November [might be a good time for you to come visit], I’ll be here waiting to welcome you and I will have the tequila ready to drink, amiga. It’ll be my pleasure to attend to you and your guests, amiga.
When he remembered her birthday
On October 23, El Chapo sent her a special birthday message.
1 [El Chapo]: Good morning. Happy birthday from someone who really appreciates and cares for you: your friend. I hope you’re having a marvelous day with your loved ones. I wish you the best today and always.
When he continued to hit on her
On October 24, he texted Kate to give her the photos from their meet up.
El Chapo: Good afternoon, how is the best, most intelligent woman in this world, who I admire so much? I’ll give you the number of the licenciado so that you can talk to him and tell him who to give the memory card of the photos to, amiga.
When he invited Kate to meet his mom
On October 29, he asked her to come back to Mexico to visit him.
El Chapo: Amiga, we have to see each other. Everything is fine, if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t invite you. I want you to interview the men and women on my ranch. My mom wants to meet you. I told her about you. Don’t lose heart; everything will be fine. Everything will be ?.
When he had other priorities
While Kate worked to find a lawyer who could work pro-bono, he continued to flirt with her.
El Chapo: Thanks amiga. Hopefully you can come soon so that I can attend to you, so that you can tell me what you want to eat and I can have it ready for you, to take care of my friend, the best in this world and the most gorgeous. We’ll be waiting. I love and admire you. Bye.