After two seasons, The Bridge, FX’s crime drama based on the Danish-Swedish series Bron/Broen was unceremoniously canceled. We are a bit sad to see it go. It had a stellar cast, a unique and timely premise and was the first truly bilingual drama in a long time. By truly bilingual, we mean actors who are actually fluent in Spanish. (None of that embarrassing Breaking Bad broken Spanish.)
The story is a bit complicated. Two detectives come together to hunt down a serial killer committing atrocious crimes on both sides of the U.S.-Mexico border. The first season started off with a bang: a woman is found cut in half on the bridge connecting Texas and Chihuahua. Her torso is on the American side, her lower half in Mexico. The autopsy reveals that the body actually belongs to two women: the torso is that of an anti-immigration American judge and the legs to a missing girl from Juarez. Can a gringa (Diane Kruger) and a Mexican (Demián Bichir) detective come together to piece this thing together?
Season one proved they could. Exempting the season finale, season 1 of The Bridge tackled popular subjects like immigration, death, and American-Mexican relations with subtlety and a sense of humor. When Detective Ruiz crosses the border to El Paso, an American cop greets him with, “Buenos días” to which Ruiz responds, “Howdy partner.” The season ended with the detectives working together, incarcerating the serial killer, and promising to shift their focus to the missing girls of Juarez.
One of the reasons we loved the inaugural season was watching Kruger’s character, Detective Cross, and Bichir’s, Detective Ruiz, try to understand each other. In the second season, their relationship is strained and they share very little screen time. Instead, each one is pursuing separate goals.
To be honest, we aren’t surprised it got canceled. It went from being a bilingual show rooted in reality and tackling important American-Mexican issues to a predictable DEA, CIA, and cartel initiative. Then there were those ridiculous moments that totally killed its chances of getting a third season — like when a Mennonite shoves a needle in her chest and her tattoo starts to bleed. For realz, it happened.
Season two was lacking a lot and hard to follow. It’s a shame. Still, we wanted to give The Bridge a proper goodbye. Here are 11 moments that pushed The Bridge over the edge, moments that made us ask, but why?
SPOILER ALERT: lots of plot points are revealed (as if you’re really gonna go back and watch it now.)
This horrid piece of dialogue between new character Mennonite (M) and her aid (A) while they’re reaching their car.
M: Hybrid. It’s good for the environment.
M: Electric car. I’m worried about the polar bears.
A: I don’t give a shit about the polar bears. I don’t want to look like a pillow biter.
A: Pillow biter? I don’t understand.
B: Gay. I don’t want to look gay.
Thoughts: Is pillow biter a thing? You don’t care about polar bears?! And ew, ew, ew.
In the first season, Detective Ruiz’s son is murdered. He has been on a steady decline since. Detective Cross’ tactic to get him back in the game: melodrama. “You know what, Marco? Why don’t you call me when you’re ready to do something?”
The Mennonite seduces a child by saying, “If you help me, I’ll let you touch me down there.”
Thoughts: Even pubescent Tina from Bob’s Burgers would run away from that butt.
Daniel Frye (played by the ever wonderful Matthew Lillard) getting punched by Raul Quintana (in drag) at a strip club just for asking questions.
Thoughts: Nobody punches Shaggy when he’s solving a mystery. Nobody.
Inter-agency collabs are a no-no. DEA Agent McKenzie explains why, “I want the whole enchilada.”
Thoughts: The CIA and DEA are fighting over cases? Really?… Really?… Really.
Two cartel emissaries get hit and are forced to hand over drugs. To do this they must fist a horse’s ass.
On the hunt for the Mennonite, Detectives Cross and Ruiz stumble upon this.
Thoughts: Dead witness, blue cylinder, acid. Walter White-loving Mennonite?
Fausto, truck hat enthusiast and head of the drug cartel, sitting on a boat in a hangar that presumably belongs to him.
Thoughts: Not much apparently. Eliminator of what? People? Competition? Good taste?
Another Cartel emissary, who has 243 killings to his name, achieves immediate repentance after looking at a Jesus Christ figurine.
Thoughts: That thing kind of looks like a religious Emmy, no?
Detective Cross says (without an ounce of sarcasm), “I still can’t believe it. Our government cooperating with the cartel?”
Thoughts: Her online hours are clearly being monitored.
The aforementioned bleeding tattoo moment.
Thoughts: Wow, how artsy and deep. NOT! This is just plain ridiculous. It’s TV writing at its worst.
There you have it. Even though this crime-thriller-mexi-noir-comedy just got canceled, we suggest that you give it a try. You might find something you like (or hate, but it’s still entertaining.)
Season 1 and 2 of The Bridge are available on Hulu and FXnetworks.com