Art is subjective, sure. But let’s be real: some music is just downright awful. Still, sometimes, no matter how badly written, performed or recorded, there are some songs you can’t stop hate-listening to – it’s like musical Stockholm Syndrome. These are the songs you turn that “Private” Spotify session on for, because you don’t want to cop to just how many times you’ve played old Michael Bolton songs in a row. Except that today, we asked people to cop to it.
We asked a few friends —DJs, musicians, producers, promoters, actors, and more — to choose that song they love to hate. Some had more than one song on their guilty pleasure rotation, and in the case of Lalo Rojas, a veritable detailed playlist of shame (we chose the best from Lalo’s picks for your reading pleasure). Sit back, read on, judge everyone who contributed to the list and then go listen to that fantastically crappy song you can only admit to yourself is a true work of art.
“Before starting, I would like to openly confess that I consider myself a closet reggaetonero. I‘m not sure how listening to hip-hop when I was 14 or 15 led me to be a reggaeton pioneering listener among my friends when I was 16. I changed courses in my musical tastes later on, but I wouldn’t be surprised if my Videos We Love To Hate list has anything to do with these sounds. These are videos that I love but also make me feel embarrassed watching them, worse when other people learn that I watch them or did at a certain point.” – Lalo Rojas
Qbanito's "Maria"
My first encounter with reggeaton was with this song. I was an exchange student in Canada, and a friend and I watched the video on a Quebecois TV channel. We obsessed over this song for months. Ever since I have wanted a cane. I also loved that he rhymed in French. That’s French, right?
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Lalo Rojas
Artica Booking Agency
Delfín Hasta El Fin, La Tigresa Del Oriente y Wendy Sulca's "En Tus Tierras Bailaré"
Wendy Sulca, La Tigresa del Oriente, and Delfín all on one song. A song about Israel, god knows why. It’s weird. And bad. And brilliant!
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Laura Gomez
Actress|Director|Producer
Orange Is The New Black
Osmani Garcia Ft. Pitbull & Sensato's "El Taxi"
♩ ♩♫ I’ll tell Remezcla the story, so they know it.
Al Principio dije No, No y No a EL TAXI
Preguntaba cómo les puede gustar EL TAXI
Luego inconscientemente termine cantando EL TAXI
Nada que hacer …
Me Lo Paro EL TAXI
Me lo Paro EL TAXI ♫♫
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Andres Shaq
El Freaky
Chip Torres' "Te Voy A Dar Un Byte"
This has a more comedic angle. Actually, I think “Te Voy A Dar Un Byte” is a very creative piece. La Gran Royal, who made the famous “Quiero Ir Al Antro” and “Acapulco Dreamers” are responsible for this. I think Chip Torres is the best character of these kinds of viral YouTube videos.
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Lalo Rojas
Artica Booking Agency
Kaim's "Caballo Homosexual de la montaña"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAIWOCVycow
This song is like a Sasha Baron Cohen movie, you can’t stop watching it because you simply can’t believe someone took the time to make it. The sheer fact that it exists makes you keep watching and listening to it. I love it.
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Poteleche
DJ & Visual Artist
Chocolate's "Mayonesa"
Nothing ruins my musical appetite more than using food as a metaphor for love or, even worse, the name of your band. This track was probably one of 2001’s “songs of the summer,” and it was a double food metaphor faux pas. Uruguayan cumbieros, Chocolate, battered us with “Mayonesa” over and over and over again. I probably heard it least three times at every family party I attended that summer. It didn’t matter how good my tia’s mole was, my stomach would say “uh uh, no” every time that song came on. I tried unsuccessfully to block any and all visuals that came into my head when you use mayonnaise as a love metaphor. Guacala! And don’t even get me started on that silly dance…
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Nelson Arreguin
Artist Relations
Shure Microphones
Juan Magan ft. Belinda & Lapiz Conciente "Si No Te Quisiera"
Belinda is my mami and she leaves no doubt about it in this video. To tell you the truth, I had no idea about Juan Magan until I saw this video, and the reason why I love it is obvious: Belinda looks hot. Also, I think Lápiz Conciente is one of the best names for a rapper. I would love to hear the song in a club as loud as possible.
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Lalo Rojas
Artica Booking Agency
Peter La Anguila y Los Pichy Boys' "El Ritmo Pakatum"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HK3rBbugFKs
This is a gem of exquisitely bad taste, man. And yet, our butts are forever grateful for it. It’s impossible not to appreciate Peter La Anguila’s charisma or even want some of it for yourself. If you can pull off those speedos, you go boy!!
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Carmen Barahona
Booking & Production
Doll Music
Primer Imperio's "Torre de Control"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXBMezKI1n8
I’ve thought about dropping this one in the middle of a DJ set for a while now, but I never have the guts to do it. Diplo did it once, though; to open a set some 10 years ago. The lyrics are hilarious to me and the hook is so catchy that I often find myself saying it to break the ice whenever I’m in an awkward situation: “díganme que hacemo…torre de control…”.
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Poteleche
DJ & Visual Artist
Geto Boys' "Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta"
When I’m sad I like watching those Thug Life meme videos. I can spend hours watching them and get completely sucked into it. This track is used most frequently as the soundtrack for those videos, and I’d weirdly never heard it before. Now it’s one of my favorites.
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Lalo Rojas
Artica Booking Agency
Dale Dale Dominicano
This is a song performed by two cheerful Japanese women praising Dominican baseball players. I get hypnotized by the repetitive chorus and the merengue 101 dance moves. I watch this video a few times a month. I always end up asking myself : “Why the fuck am I watching this?” as if awakening from a trance.
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Remo
Remolacha.net
Susy Diaz's "El Conejito"
I don’t think this is a song that I hate loving because I actually just really love this song. Susy displays an aspect of Latin America that sometimes goes unnoticed by the media, and I honestly find so much talent and passion from her. She’s a hoot. If these kinds of things got released here in the US, I would be glued to the television every night.
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Boris Araya
Spotify
Neidy Molaco's "El Come Mulo"
I kept waiting for the punchline because it seemed to me like a viral prank or something, but no. It turns out that Neidy was really eating it. Alas, his “career” came to an end with this song, so he ended up a “one anti-hit wonder”.
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Poteleche
DJ & Visual Artist
Eminem feat Elton John's "Stan" (Live)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4dZ2pcLMCs
I had to watch the video again to write this and I can’t deny that it gives me chills. This is my favorite Eminem song, and when he performed it with Elton John at the Grammys in 2000 when I was 10, it was amazing watching it. ¡Viva The Marshall Mathers LP!
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Lalo Rojas
Artica Booking Agency