El Clásico is upon us! You know, that time of year when the hype is out-of-this-world, when we randomly feel inclined to do absurd and irrational things. It’s a sporting contest to end all sporting contests, in its ability to bring out the best and worst of hincha passion.
It’s in this vein that we present you with 10 ridiculous things we’ve all done in the buildup to the big game:
Obsess over old Clásico highlight videos.
Like this one of Michael Laudrup mastery:
Nothing gets you psyched up for game day quite like a little nostalgia. Maybe even shed a tear or two? Especially if you’re a madridista…lord knows we need all the good vibes and loving we can get right now given the 4-0 romping we received last November.
Play a pickup game.
Dedicate every pickup game, partidito, and any and all fútbol callejero to your favorite futbolista. Wear your lucky camiseta while you’re at it, and maybe (read: definitely) throw a Cristiano “CALMA” celebration in for good goal-scoring measure.
Get the crew together, channel that Messi magic you know you’ve got in you and ball out until kickoff.
Bring a vuvuzela. Anywhere. Everywhere. Always.
What’s not to love about livening up the (slightly empty) bar before game time with a little stadium-like sound?
Flip your favorite songs into futbol anthems.
Like the great Afroxander, change the lyrics to Calle 13’s “Que Lloren” to things like “Si pensabas que fue gol…llora! Si eres madridista…llora!”
When CR7’s free kick hits the wall, use that vuvuzela as a mic and go at ‘em, fam.
Pretend as though you don't care about the Clásico.
Spend two weeks telling everyone you don’t care about the Clásico – trying to feel superior – but then watch it in the end.
As much as you might complain about theatrics and crazy Clásico antics, you love the hype. You live for it. And we know you’re gonna watch the game.
Get in week-long trash-talking squabbles with your madridista doorman and work best friends.
It doesn’t even have to be a nearby neighbor – call up that friend you haven’t spoken to in years for the sole purpose of some good Clásico shit talk. Why not?
Listen to "Hala Madrid" on repeat.
Play “Hala Madrid” y nada más anytime your Culé buddies walk into a room.
There’s something about pretending you’re walking through the tunnel at the end of a big win at the Bernabéu, hands raised triumphantly, “Hala Madrid” ringing out for all to hear. Nobody’s stopping you from making that happen everywhere you go this week.
Read Spanish newspapers.
Every damn one. While you’re at it, throw Marca, El País, El Mundo, and even La Razón in the mix. For the nerds among us.
Everybody’s got their opinion. Mold them all together and make your own!
A lot. (Bourbon anyone?) So much so that you maybe even get cut off by the bartender before kickoff…?
If not you, then who else is going to leap onto their bar stool and yell “What are you gonna do about that?” after Luisito Suárez inevitably puts one in? Maybe Madrid is already up 2-0 at that point too? We can dream.
Do everything you normally do, just with 10 times more intensely.