“You Can Do It, Put Your Back Into It”: Chapters From Bartolo Colón’s Hypothetical Motivational Book

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At 42 years old, Dominican pitcher Bartolo Colón is the second oldest MLB player this postseason. In his 18 years in the majors, he has pitched for nine different teams and he has done it in style. Bartolo has become a key factor in the Mets’ playoff series against the Los Angeles Dodgers, a player who the team trusts again and again to bridge the gap between the powerful starters and their not-so-powerful bullpen.

But he’s not just a great pitcher, he’s also an old, wise, and charismatic man. He’s such a great person that we believe he should write a motivational self-help book sharing his wisdom. We’re so keen on this idea that we’ve even come up with some suggestions for the first three chapters. Check it out:

"It's Not How You Look, It's How You Feel"

Being the second oldest MLB player means nothing compared to having the most recognized belly in all major sports. Bartolo is the MLB’s resident gordito. But his belly isn’t a minor distraction from pitching, it also seems to be the source of his secret power. All those chicharrones and mofongo had to add up, but it’s all for the better.

"Old Dogs Do Learn New Tricks"

After a long career in the American League, it came as no surprise that Bartolo was not the best of hitters. What did come as a surprise is how funny the guy looked at the plate. The Internet is full of GIFs of Bartolo batting, dropping his helmet, and falling down. What they don’t show is that he has taken the bullying personally and has done something about it. In fact, as the year progressed, he collected a career-high eight hits during the season. He’s still funny, but now he actually does hit the ball.

"You're Never Too Old to Try Something New"

This postseason Bartolo is not in the Mets’ starting rotation. He has been used as a reliever in three different games – for a total of four innings – of their series against the Dodgers. No biggie: he’s kept his belly, his cool, and brought his I-do-things-my-way attitude to the mound (case in point: he does his interviews with a Spanish translator, even if he does speak English). And he’s done it all in style.