Hottest Music Videos of 2012

You may be too young to remember it, but there was a time when showing nudity on music videos was totally forbidden. That was mainly because back then music videos were exclusively played on these archaic things called TVs that people used to have in their living-rooms (there was even a TV channel that played music videos 24/7! Can you imagine?).

Nowadays, when kids grow up on a steady diet of easily accessible hardcore porn that’s watched in the privacy of a laptop screen or a smart-phone, the censorship and/or self-censorship of the good old prude days are completely outdated. A simple NSFW notice is enough to warn people that the following music video may include some steamy imagery, including lots of exposed human anatomy.

Just don’t watch these next ten videos at your cubicle and you’ll be just fine. Oh, and if you plan to watch them all back-to-back, you may need some tissue near by.

10. “Dotes de Cocina”
by Selma Oxor
[Mexico]

Some people have a foot fetish. Others have a food fetish. In recent years, tentacle erotica (yes, there’s an actual porn niche for that) has become less obscure thanks to the internet and mainly Japanese fans, always ahead of the curve when it comes to developing new kinky fetishes. Mexican singer Selma Oxor here probably learned a lesson or two from those hentai videos and used octopuses (lol, I almost wrote octopussies) and dead fishes as some sort of dark sexual allegory on her video. No nipples or labia exposed here, just a bunch of dead sea creatures on the chopping board and the hairless chest of a metrosexual boy. Erotic enough? -JD

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9. “Retrovisión”
By Los Ferreto
[Colombia]

Are you a horny person who wants to have the pleasure of having ‘eye candy,’ even while at work and it’ll be totally okay by your boss? Do you want to work in the sex industry, but feel that going the stripper or porn shop route may be too “out there” for your personality? Do you want your friends to praise you and be jealous of you at the same time? Then photography is the right job for you. That is, photographing gorgeous Colombian models with insects and ketchup for props. Artsy and sexy. Los Ferreto knows how to showcase this too well.

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8. “Rugby Time”
By Poxyclub
[Argentina]

Too much tits-and-ass on this list? I know. But don’t despair you worshipers of the male anatomy. Plenty of bulky young men in underwear here to satiate your appetite for bulge. Released last month, the hilarious homo-erotic fantasy of two macho rugbiers falling in lust with one another in the lockers room unleashed an instant viral controversy. The video was soon deleted from the internet by the band, after they received violent threats from actual macho rugbiers who got offended by their portrayal. Fortunately, Poxyclub has many fans who don’t care about censorship and are not afraid of these bullies (rugbiers are the Argentine equivalent of frat-boy jocks), and before the video was taken down from the original source they bootlegged it and re-uploaded it in multiple accounts. Ballsy. -JD

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7. “Dynamite”
By Sexy Lucy
[Colombia]

The Colombian Sexy Lucy gals in “Dynamite” make the “sexy” part of the band name seem a bit of an underestimation. We clearly see these naked ladies are not sexually objectified (as you’d probably expect from most sexy videos out there), but lethally explosive, á la Kill Bill. Just check out at how they glare back at the camera, stair down their arcane male counterparts, and dropkick those banal perverts into submission. HOT. -IR

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6. “4MD”
By Mood-Fu
[Mexico]

When I first reviewed this video earlier this year, I said that this could end up being the sexiest video of the year. It’s still über-sensual, but I think my statement was taken as a challenge by many other video directors out there, and they sexied thing up including all the actual nudity this video lacks. She looks definitely drop-dead gorgeous there rolling under the bedsheets in her underwear, but honestly, I spent the whole video expecting to see at least half an areola poking out of her bra or something. Major tease! -JD

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5. “Yellow Burger”
By Meketrefe ft. Simpson Ahuevo
[Mexico/Brooklyn]

The stunning blue eyed brunette in Meketrefe‘s and Simpson Ahuevo‘s video dismisses bananas, hot dogs, sausages, and other types of phallic foods for your typical food porn. Instead, Cat King plays with a mouthwatering, cheese-dripping hamburger. To add another sexy factor, this lady in red lingerie toys with her burger in front of a webcam for gazers on the other side of the screen to ooze off to and enjoy, and of course, for those who are really into Latin indie music videos, like me. Lyrics are pretty scrumptious too. -IR

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4. “Kilo”
By Bonde do Rolê
[Brazil]

As it was already demonstrated earlier with Selma Oxor’s video in our #10 pick, food can be quite erotic. Brazil’s Bonde Do Rolê had an orgy of tropical fruits on their “Kilo” video and it makes me go all vegan for some of that highly-nutritious fruit smoothies, but only if I can lick it off the skin of one of those girls. There’s no actual nudity on this one, but it barely needs any; there’re phallic bananas, coconut titties, a papaya pussy, and pineapples that squirt milky white elixir over the girls’ bodies, bukkake style. Are you hungry already? -JD

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3. “Brillar”
By Pegasvs
[Spain]

Something crazy must have happened in the wood of Asturias, Spain, because Pegasvs‘ music video for “Brillar” is definitely a folkloric plethora of iconic (and phallic) imagery. Oh come on! Long swards and a crystal vagina?! I mean, can you barely contain yourself with all these subliminal clips? By the way, what curious little kid wouldn’t want to ride on a galloping steed on a quest for fulfilling his (or her) epic destiny and finding a giant topless woman in a bathtub of milk at the end of the journey? I mean for reals. -IR

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2. “Inmóvil”
By Kinky
[Mexico]

I remember back when they first came out, people used to point out that the name Kinky didn’t quite match the band’s music and aesthetics. The Regiomontanos weren’t kinky enough. Well, since then, the kids have grown up and their videos got sexier and, yup, kinkier. Just take a look at their brand new video. There’s plenty of female skin exposed and a stereotypical perverted-looking dude watching her as a sort of 3D masturbational fantasy while she showers and changes thongs. Mad props for the Kinky guys for embracing their inner-kinkiness, but more for the exotic dancer, Diamondback Annie, who shares with us her all-natural, nicely shaped, tits and ass, in detailed close-ups. -JD

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1. “Buen Soldado”
By Francisca Valenzuela
[Chile]

Chilean chanteuse Francisca Valenzuela made our jaws drop (and mouths drool) in her last music video off Buen Soldado. It almost came as a shocker, but in a really good way because this lovely lady proved that she is no niña buena. Instead, she’s a multidimensional artist who dares to tempt in the sexiest way possible while remaining classy. A masculinized (or androgynous) Valenzuela appears in a way we’ve ever seen her before, gazing at her fellow lady as she seductively dances. We’re captivated. In a recent Q&A (to be released soon!), she describes her character as somewhat disenchanted, yet somewhat tempted. There’s a lot to be said about this. But hey, for now, we just told you who has the Hottest Music Video of 2012! Feast your eyes, ladies and gentlemen. This ain’t no gentlemen’s club only. -IR

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