Celebrating Chicharito’s 100th and 101st Career Goals by Trolling Chelsea

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Y’all already know that bashing Chelsea is one of my absolute favorite pastimes. Everything about the club is pretty damn atrocious IMO – a quick look through my Twitter archives and you’ll find me praising the fútbol gods for allowing a second-string New York Red Bulls squad to valiantly score four goals against pure evil (Chelsea FC), and it should go without saying that I’ve declared the London side to be the supreme force of evil in my life on multiple occasions.

So, what better way to celebrate Javier “Chicharito” Hernández’s 100th and 101st career goals than by highlighting the fact that Chelsea is the team that he’s scored against most often? That’s right, our lovable goalscoring superstar has scored eight against the Blues over the course of his career (Mourinho would undoubtedly come to the conclusion that this was merely due to a “weak and naive” reffing display. So it goes).

Graphic by JuanFutbol
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Of Chicharito’s 101 strikes, 59 took place during his time in Manchester, 29 with Chivas, nine with Real Madrid, and four and counting with Bayer. Here’s a couple of beauties vs. Chelski to get you laughing and feeling some type of way.

Check this – Chicharo quite literally set himself up for a header in spectacular fashion against the Blues. Talk about embarrassment:

To add insult to injury (and fuel to my fire), Chelsea’s UCL away match at Dynamo Kiev ended 0-0 last night, with the visitors coming up on the short end of the stick in terms of passing accuracy (81 to 75 percent)  and possession (54 to 46 percent). Wow. LOL. Meanwhile, London rivals Arsenal were busy defeating German hegemony thanks to a now historic run by statue-worthy 20-year-old Spanish phenom Héctor Bellerín (I told you so?). Sorry, Jose. Here’s to #MartesDeChicharito and taking every chance we get to LOL at Chelsea.