Chiellini Confesses He Was Just Trolling Luis Suárez Because He Is Childish AF

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Even fair-weather fútbol fans are well aware of Luis Suárez’s insatiable hunger on the pitch. Yes, he did bite Otman Bakkal back in 2010, and yes, a similar altercation did take place two years ago between the Uruguayan and Branislav Ivanović during the former’s Liverpool days.

Most famously, Luisito is known for the supposed chomp that took place with 11 minutes left to play in Uruguay’s crucial Group D matchup against Italy in the 2014 World Cup, which ended 1-0 in favor of the South American side thanks to an 81st minute header from Diego Godín.

It was the bite heard round the world – Suárez was banned from playing competitive soccer for four months following the incident and barred from suiting up internationally for a subsequent five. He couldn’t even enter a soccer stadium, let alone train with his teammates.

But wait – this wasn’t really the mega chomp, teeth-sinking super bite that we’ve grown to know and accept from the “lunatic” Barcelona forward? Giorgio Chiellini actually confessed that he didn’t do anything to him? What?!

That’s what Vice President of FIFA’s appeals court Fernando Mitjans is claiming, and he’s doing so with great gusto; Mitjans told FOX Sports Radio Argentina that when they asked Chiellini “who was the victim,” he said “sir, he didn’t do anything to me.”

Can you guess what he said that Suárez did? “It was a kiss that my girlfriend gave me and I did it to get him sent off.” Suarez’s bite was essentially a kiss from his girlfriend. Really? WTF.

Apparently, the Italian defender didn’t even travel to the hearing in the aftermath of the incident, nor did he take the time to respond to the tribunal’s questions via mail. This wasn’t Mitjans’ only critique, either; he feels that FIFA was wrong to take Suarez’s biting history into account, given the fact that sports tribunals operate on different standards than criminal ones (biting might take it to the next level, though).

I’m sure you’re dying to rewatch the incident and make your own conclusions, so here it is in all of its horrific glory: