By now you’ve most likely heard (and perhaps laughed until you cried) about Real Madrid’s most recent crisis. Denis Cheryshev – apparently suspended after compiling three yellow cards during Copa del Rey action with Villarreal last season – featured in Rafa’s starting 11 on Wednesday. To make matters worse, dude went on to score a banger in the third minute en route to a 3-1 win. Now, it’s official: his side is out of one of its most important competitions of the season. FFS.
Here’s young Denis’ suspension notice from last May:
This is – without a shadow of a doubt – Cheryshev’s most noteworthy contribution to the equipo madrileño to date. So memorable, in fact, that Florentino was forced to call a presser yesterday afternoon to announce that the club will oppose any sanctions over fielding an ineligible player.
Jajajajajajajajaja. Florentino tenía dos opciones. Parar este ridículo o continuar con ello. Ha elegido lo segundo.
— Imanol Echegaray G. (@imanoleg_) December 3, 2015
According to the Madrid president (who continues to demonstrate his total lack of competence when it comes to all things related to running a fútbol club), both the RFEF and Cheryshev failed to notify officials. Real Madrid was left completely in the dark.
Escuchando a Florentino Pérez, el Real Madrid tiene un serio problema de comunicación en temas de 'faxes' y 'e-mails'. No les llega nada.
— Francesc Aguilar (@MDpor_elmundo) December 3, 2015
Florentino argumenta que no sabían nada. Yo, ayer, sentado en el sofá, pude leerme entera la lista de sanciones en la web de la RFEF.
— Luis Vallejo (@Lvallejocolom) December 3, 2015
Damn. Florentino is truly incapable of admitting when his club has made a mistake. (Hey – maybe that would make him a top notch FIFA official?). Let’s relive this incredibly creative way of getting yourself sacked and your club eliminated via Twitter:
It all started with a couple of texts and a phone call or two…
Homies quickly realized that they had made a huge mistake.
El Madrid puede alegar que ha jugado con Cher y Shev pic.twitter.com/HixpsodGzm
— Enrique Ballester (@eballester) December 2, 2015
Cádiz fans realized it too, and proceeded to make themselves the MVPs of the match:
¡SACA A DE GEA, BENÍTEZ SACA A DE GEA! Genios. pic.twitter.com/AI3FzzWGJr
— sandra (@spp13_) December 2, 2015
Soccer Twitter then proved its worth and solidified Madrid’s entrance into peak banter era (we’re reaching Arsenal levels here). We may not be top of the league but at least we’re No. 1 in something…right?
— juanfutbol (@juanfutbol) December 2, 2015
Rafa Benitez rn: pic.twitter.com/wVmmU5Z1sI
— Mer•ce•des ❤️ just admiring my own gallantry (@DuskySprngfield) December 2, 2015
FIRST OUR FUCKING FAX MACHINE ISNT FAST ENOUGH AND NOW WE CANT EVEN KEEP TRACK OF BANNED PLAYERS VIVA MADRID BANTER ERA
— Ronaldo (@notRonaIdo) December 2, 2015
Meanwhile, back at the Bernabeu… pic.twitter.com/4fS03xG8jl
— Church of Soccer (@churchofsoccer) December 2, 2015
It almost got TOO real when Piqué joined the conversation:
— Gerard Piqué (@3gerardpique) December 2, 2015
Friday morning the news was made official: Madrid has been eliminated from the Copa del Rey.
Sería bueno que se le notificara la eliminación al Real Madrid, que luego no se dan por enterados; Ah y al ser posible no por fax.
— David Aparicio (@Banquilleros) December 4, 2015
— juanfutbol (@juanfutbol) December 4, 2015
What next? Hopefully a couple more goleadas and a new manager heading into 2016, that’s what. Also, be wary of fax machines.