World Cup Divas: A Look at the "Backstage Riders" for Brazil 2014

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It is an established fact that people aspire to become celebrities just to be able to pen lengthy requests for every appearance, both public and private. We all want our own version of the Backstage Rider. This literary subgenre has given us notable examples, some of which can be found here. Van Halen’s bowl filled with brown M&Ms is perhaps the high point of these exorbitant demands (although after they explained this, it sounds less far fetched than it first seems). Current incarnations of these obnoxious requests might include “yellow roses with red trim” for Jennifer Lopez, or “one bowl of Sunkist salted pistachio nuts (no red coloring) for Kanye West. Anything you need, production assistants say, as they scramble to pluck wrong colored pistachios from the bowl. Not only musicians enjoy the perks of being taken seriously when asking for absurdities.

Now, thanks to Brazilian newspaper Lance, we have the World Cup version of the Backstage Rider. Among the most notable:

Portugal has asked for a total of six bodyguards to be around the team at all times, but four of those have to be dedicated to protecting Cristiano Ronaldo. He must have seen Tropa de Elite recently.

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France has asked for soap bars to be removed from their bathrooms. The team will only use liquid soap, thank you very much.

Ecuador has asked for bananas, a basket of bananas in every room, a basket of bananas from Ecuador in every room.

Both France and Ecuador, along with Costa Rica have requested that their headquarters include a video game room. Surely players will want to keep expanding their Minecraft adventure.

Japan needs a jacuzzi tub in every room, and Uruguay expects silent air conditioners.

Now we know: if Ecuador falters against Switzerland in their opener, it must have been the non-Ecuadorian bananas.