DIY Halloween: Five Costume Ideas for 2012
When it comes to Halloween costumes, there are two unforgivable moves:
1. Going as a “sexy ______.” (i.e. Sexy Bunny, Sexy Cat, Sexy Police Officer, Sexy Haunted Rave Franken Bride).
2. Buying one of those lame, overpriced, ready-made costumes from Party City.
DON’T BE THAT GUY. NO ONE LIKES THAT GUY. Instead, take a look at the five awesome DIY Halloween costume ideas we put together, and get ready to blow everyone’s mind with your clever, culturally-relevant ensemble.
1. Walter Mercado
If you love excess, glamour, and a little bit of ridiculousness, our favorite Latino wizard is the perfect choice for you on Halloween night. The best thing about the Walter costume is that it can be unisex, since Walter is, you know, a little androgynous himself. (Look at those luscious lips and that glowing, taut skin). The most important part of a Walter costume is an extravagantly detailed cape and/or coat, preferably one that belonged to an old, fabulous cat lady, a European duchess, or Zorro – whatever works. Next, head over to your abuelas jewelry drawer or thrift shop and grab massive rings with gems and stones, which can also double as a crystal ball for your astrology predictions and fortune telling. Make sure to add a jeweled brooch right in the middle of your collar. Pencil in your eyebrows, blush those cheeks, slather Vaseline all over your face to achieve a waxy look, and you’re done! If you’re really trying to get lucky on Halloween, make sure to wish everyone you encounter “Sobre todo, mucho, mucho amor.” Works every time.
2. Tan Mitt Romney
Remember when Mitt Romney went on Univision looking like a Werther’s original? His unnaturally orange hue, which came closely on the tails of his glib “it would be helpful to be Latino” joke, led many to speculate that he’d donned brown face to appeal to Latinos. To achieve the Mitt as Oompa Loompa look all you need is a “President-y” looking suit (grey or black, and make it snazzy) and a salt & pepper coif that just won’t quit. Since creepy glimmering white veneers are probably not in your budget for Halloween, get a politicians smarmy smile with some whitening strips. Last, but not least: bronze yourself. Bronze till you just can’t bronze anymore. If you’re looking like a butterscotch candy, you’re on the right track. For an extra spark, carry around a Spanish-English dictionary or put on a sombrero if you want to double as Mexican Mitt.
3. Ecce Homo aka Ecce Mono aka “Beast Jesus”
Looks like our old pal Ecce Homo has blown up into an internet celebrity. In case you haven’t heard the story, 81 year-old Spanish woman Cecilia Gimenez decided to restore the old Jesus fresco in her church, only to turn him into a completely disfigured and frightening beast that has been likened to “a very hairy monkey in an ill-fitting tunic.” So basically, the perfect Halloween costume. First, find yourself a reddish/maroon robe or fabrics that can drape over your body. To create the botched face, you can either work your skills and paint directly onto your own face, or create a mask to make it a little more realistic. We suggest a burlap bag or a large brown paper bag. You can paint the face on the bag and cut holes for your eyes, or paint it blindfolded to really get it all sorts of messed up. Then, add a beard and a black shawl over your head and VOILA, you’re the worst restoration of all time and probably the best costume at any party.
4. Out of Work Abelardo
Ever since Mitt Romney basically threatened to fire Big Bird during the first Presidential debate, “Sassy Big Bird” Halloween costumes have been flying off the shelves. This causes a bit of a conundrum: how to take part in a highly topical, clever costume without bumping into 20 people wearing the exact same thing? The solution is clear: go as Big Bird’s Mexican cousin Abelardo Montoya. That way you not only reference Mitt’s threats to cut PBS funding, you can also throw work in some immigration policy mockery too – thereby killing two birds with one stone. PUN INTENDED. To look the part, you’ll need red & pink feather boas to wrap around your head and neck, as well as a feathered bird mask. The next component – a floor length lime green fur coat – may prove a little more challenging to procure. We’d suggest googling “pimp coats,” which is how we stumbled upon the fluorescent work of art featured above. Even if you aren’t planning to be Abelardo, you should probably google image “pimp coats” anyway. Just because. Finally, add some orange knee socks, flashy shoes, and a home-made “will work for food” sign, and you’ve got yourself a Fired Abelardo.
5. 90s Gloria Trevi
90s roquera Gloria Trevi was one of Mexico’s most popular pop stars when she became embroiled in one of the more sordid and bizarre sex scandals of the Latino entertainment world. For those of you who don’t remember: at the height of her fame, Trevi and her Svengali manager, Sergio Andrade, were accused of running a sex cult; brainwashing, seducing and then sexually abusing teenage girls as young as 13 who came to them to be stars. The investigation resulted in Trevi’s imprisonment in Brazil on charges of kidnapping, rape, and corruption. THEN In a telenovela style plot twist, she became pregnant while incarcerated, even though she was supposedly being kept with a female cellmate and allowed no conjugal visits. DNA tests proved the father was Andrade, who was being held in a different part of the prison, causing rumors of insemination plots, extradition schemes, and other wild theories to ran rampant. Creepy. Needless to say a train-wreck, scandal-ridden rock star makes for an excellent Halloween costume. To make this one work, you can hit your local thrift store to find the standard elements of 90s grunge-y fashion: leather vest & belt, choker necklaces, a patchwork print skirt, and leather boots to tie it all together. Last but not least, you must tease your hair to Peg Bundy-esque proportions, so you can run around singing Gloria’s signature song “Pelo Suelto.”