Valentine's Piropos to Get Slapped For

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A piropo, in case you don’t know, is a flirtatious, often poetic (though it might be a broad definition of poetry) saying or rhyme shared – often muttered in passing or shouted from across the street, but whatever – with the object of your admiration. They’re supposed to be clever and disarming, but too often they’re kind of cheesy and uncomfortable, if not outright gross. For example, my favorite one has always been….

¡Bendito sea el árbol de donde sacaron la madera para hacer la cuna sobre la que te mecieron!

…because holy crap is that way too complicated and poetic and weird. I’m pretty sure I first read that in a text book. Anyway, we asked our Remezclanistas on Facebook to share with us their favorites, and these are the results. Our readers are perverts!

Traes tupperware? Porque te voy a dar hasta para llevar.

Submitted by Isaac Santiago

Has that ever worked for anyone?

Me dejas como brazo de albañil: duro y venoso

Submitted by Fernando G. Trueba


‎‎Diablo, mi amor, con esos pantalones tan apretados, si te tiras un peo, los explotas!

Submitted by Antonio Frias

Many men don’t like to acknowledge that women fart. Antonio Frias is clearly not one of those men.

Si cocinas como caminas, yo me como hasta la raspa.

Submitted by DJ Canyon Cody

Estás mas buena que comer pollo con la mano.

Submitted by Blastro2

Si como camina lo bate, yo quiero chocolate.

Submitted by Gonzalo Lemos

You guys…always thinking with your stomachs.

Readers Mariel Acosta and Ana Galan both gave us this video, because “great minds” or whatever.

Tanta dulzura y yo diabético.

Submitted by Jorgito Vega

I don’t know whether this is more funny or just sad because of diabetes rates among Latinos. Either way, Jorge, here’s a picture of Wilford Brimley in a Liberty Medical commercial for your troubles.

Tu con tantas curvas y yo sin frenos, que putazo nos metemos.

Submitted by KatRo

Katro is Remezcla’s head designer. The bit about curves and no brakes is classic, but hot damn I like the addition.

Si quieres un amor pasajero, escucha tu cabeza, si quieres un amor verdadero escucha tu corazón.

Nunca digas nunca, tampoco digas siempre, pero dime que me quieres como nunca y para siempre.

¿De qué juguetería te escapaste?, ¡muñeco!

Qué Dios te guarde y me dé la llave!

Si tu cuerpo fuera carcel y tus brazos cadenas, que bonito lugar para cumplir condena.

El amor es como una abeja, primero te pica y luego te deja.

Submitted by new head of digital at Remezcla, Martin Giraldo

The above list comes from a new member of the Remezcla family, Martin Giraldo, who I’m going to assume does extremely well with the ladies.

Be sure to leave any more you can think of in the comments, and que tu Valentine’s Day sea bien pervy!