Buen dia my fellow Washington Heights cool cats! Ojalá hayan sintonizado last night to see the bevy of emerging artists sashaying their goods on stage – but sadly, no strippers this time, DANG IT!
Episode 7 of Washington Heights featured Dominis taking over Loisaida (Lower East Side for you non-native New Yorkers) with the gang organizing a slam poetry/open mic night at “La Iglesia De La Madre De Los Tomates” aka The Nuyorican Poets Cafe. This episode was chock full of tears, cheers and jeers – and this is based on Rico’s performance alone – but more on that later.
FIRST: ALL THE T, ALL THE SHADE
JUST LIKE A TATTOO
Eliza’s tattoo, what’s all that about? Did she let Jordan Sparks’ awful song influence this poor decision? I’m all for doing courageous things for self-empowerment purposes, but this tattoo just makes her look like she’s joined The Latin Kings. Am I the only one thinking this? It can’t just be me.
UNIVISION MEETS MTV
Now, if you remember, I did mentioned last week that Eliza’s new role as sugar momma would get tiresome – and this episode proved just that. But here’s the spin: the resentment is not coming from Eliza (which would make sense) but rather, it’s coming from Jimmy’s mooching/freeloading behind. Here we see Eliza paying all the bills; providing a roof over this boy’s head; and he can’t be bothered to inform his girlfriend that he’s thinking about moving to Florida? Jimmy, are there no New York City schools you can apply to homie?
She has now become a blubbering mess, he looks like he could care less, and this has now become a bad telenovela version of “Friends.” I’m just hoping he never utters that horrible phrase we’ve all come to loathe, “We were on a BREAK!” – pero en español of course. Girl, drop that zero and get with a hero – hopefully one that can help you pay your rent and your Con Ed bill, too!
HOOKED ON HOOKAH
As Reyna tries to calm here nerves about performing live, why do we see her older sister pull out the hookah? Personally, I have never seen the luster behind lugging around a 10Ib hookah set, plus extra pipes, and enough charcoal for a July 4th BBQ – but I guess it’s just a sign of the times.
PS: If you haven’t peeped the hilarious spoof video about folks “Hooked on Hookah” featuring Washington Heights’ comedy duo Juan Bago & O, check it out below:
TOO RICO, NOT ENOUGH SUAVE
Rico… don’t give up your day job, honey. We viewers did get to see pretty Rico make a half-assed attempt at hosting this open-mic gig, but child, if this was the Apollo Theatre, they would’ve pulled out the hook and shuffled your behind to the nearest emergency exit. Thank goodness he’s pretty – all T, all shade!
A STAR I S BORN… BUT POPPA WAS A ROLLING STONE
Poor Reyna… girl just can’t catch a break with her personal life. While her relationship and career are still in bliss mode, her parents have decided to part ways after twenty-six years of marriage. Reyna trying to keep the peace with her dad, invites him to her showcase, but sadly he doesn’t show. Now, what I’m thinking, it could have been one or two things: either her dad made up with her mom (highly unlikely), or he has now found otra hevita (aka the replacement) – because let’s be honest, most Latin men don’t wait – no matter how viejo verde they get. Trust me!
As for next week’s episode, stand clear of more drama and more SHADE!
Stay tuned, mi gente…