Like any genre that presents a threat to the status quo and dominant racial hierarchies, reggaetón has – since its origins and continuing onto this day – been hit with the classic white feminist critique regarding el género’s objectification of women and their portrayal as objects of male sexual pleasure. And it’s not that it doesn’t. Like most genres of music existing in a patriarchy, it does — yet there are also so many examples that contradict this widespread narrative. Yes, sometimes la cosa se pone bien nasty – and some of us like that. And some of these artists know.
There have of course been many reggaetóneros and – on a wider level – hip-hop artists who balk at the idea of going down (remember Fat Joe’s opening line on “What’s Luv?”). But I got to thinking: there’s no way all of these reggaetóneros live to merely receive without ummm, giving back. A weekend apartment solo-perreo listening party finally led me to think, “What reggaetóneros do you just knoooooow eat pu*sy??”
So I did what any great music writer would do. I took a long, hard look into some of my favorite artist’s lyrics, and my totally serious investigation led to some gratifying results.
Ñejo
Look, I just know Ñejo will catch a neck cramp for la causa. His songs display a commitment to women’s agency and sexual pleasure that is honestly unmatched. We’ve known since the Más Flow days that he’s uno de lo que “les da pero no las maltrata” (“Tu Me Arrebata”), so we’re off to a good start. We know that he loves an independent woman (“Yo se que tu eres independiente, nada interesá / que te importa tres carajos que yo cante rap” – “No Quiere Novio”). Pero look only to “Más Perreo,” his collaboration with Cauty and DJ Nelson, for the most resounding confirmation of his commitment to la popola: “Nunca la pongo a mamar/ella me pone a mi que mame.” Wow wow wow. Maybe you can still reach him at 1-800-TRA, ladies.
Darell
Hi sweetie. My assessment is that Darell is definitely here to make that kitty go ratatatá. But don’t just take my word for it: Darell’s taste for cr*ca really shines on the remix to Kevvo’s banger “105F,” where he not only has assured the nena who has caught his eye que “eso se te come mami hasta con arroz.” Darrell is there to worship: “Y ma tu te mereces / que yo me arrodille y yo a ti te rece/que eso abajo yo completo te lo bese.” Go on and say your prayers, and everybody go to tha discotech.
Tego Calderon
We’re talking about el f*cking Abayarde here, ok? This is a dude who knows what he’s doing, punto y aparte, so off the bat we know he’s down – he’s here pa’ que retozen. Tego is committed to his partners’ sexual pleasure, and he does not come to play games (Llénense de placer / que se acabe el mundo / yo no vine pa perder – “Pa Que Retozen;” quiero darte mucho placer en muchas direcciones – “Dominicana”). Tego both asks women to take charge (dime como te gusta – “Punto y Aparte,” “tú escoges las posiciones” – “Dominicana”), pero también te jala el pelo. We stan a lover who asks us what we like and understands the dynamics of a good, consensual rough-up. How could you expect anything less from a man who knows que las más p*tas son las más finas?
Bad Bunny
The baddest conejo has always shown sexual irreverence and wide disregard for tired societal notions of decency. Who among us could forget his screed against the tyranny of shaving? So to me, he’s an obvious shoe-in for this list. I just know in my bones that he belongs here. Pero there’s evidence! There’s an interview in which he says his favorite sex position is “lo mas que le guste a la chica.” His explicit desire to get in position and, well… (“Squirt, quiero que me salpique’ / dime donde quieres que me ubique – “Bellacoso”). And after a specific confirmation to Puerto Rican journalist Chente Ydrach, sí, we can confirm, el conejito come.
Guaynaa
I know, I know. I really, truly regret to inform you that this is true, but even before lyrical confirmation, I could already feel this in my soul. Don’t be fooled by the puka shells – honestly, a veces the basics can really hit. I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules. And if we look, the evidence is right there, cleary for anyone to see on “La Stripper,” in which Guaynaa boldly asserts “Aunque en el bigote a mí me salga rash / Quiero besar to’as las partes donde te untas el splash.” That’s right beibis, el guaynabichi doesn’t give a f*ck if he gets a rash. He’s going to town. We see the commitment, and we appreciate it.
Zion & Lennox
Indeed, this legendary duo are both eaters. For confirmation we must look no further than the classic “Yo Voy” (also featuring Daddy Yankee, whom I must inform you that despite mucha habladera sobre lo rico que huelen las yales, solamente lo mete y ya. Just calling ‘em as I see ‘em). Zion is behind the classic hook in which he asserts he’s haciendo “todo lo que ella le pide.” Todo todo, huh Zion? We’d give it to Zion off the strength of that, pero like his contemporary Ñejo, he was talking consent on Más Flow: Los Benjamins (“Yo soy el que con besos supo seducirte / pero no te obligo – “Hello;” alocate y hazte mia… a menos que no te decidas – “Alocate”) so it adds up. Lennox, for his part, asserts on “Yo Voy” que “Miles he probao / pero ninguna en tu sabor” (!!!). Lennox is thinking about flavor, ok? A connoisseur!
J Balvin
Let’s examine el señor Osorio’s collaboration with Brasilera Anitta, shall we? In “Downtown” – a song dedicated in full to eating the most revered of places – Balvin not just confirms that he eats, this man is interested en quedarse enviciao. Otro round? He’s down. Anitta claims she’s nearly asphyxiated the man in the tangle of her legs, but does he care? The businessman adapts, he keeps going. Esto es hasta darle jaque mate! Shouts to Anitta for asking for what she needs, and Balvin for his enthusiasm.
Chencho y Maldy
I gotta give it to both these guys too. I mean, Plan B? El duo del sex?? Of Love and Sex fame??? On “Soy y Sere,” Chencho sings about always being un esclavo de tu ser sexual; Maldy, un perfeccionista a la hora de complacer. On “Coquetea” Chencho wants to know ¿Qué es lo que mas te pone loca? These two know what’s up y punto. Placeres a cada rato!