So apparently, California’s behemoth of a music fest Coachella sold out in six days. WTF? Apparently Arcade Fire + Kanye West + Kings of Leon = absurdly speedy sell out. But some people (some enthusiastic message board frequenters) have a different explanation. Let’s call it, The Caifanes Theory.
A Coachella message board novelist, under the alias seasponge, posted a rather lengthy and in-depth study as to why Coachella sold out so quickly. seasponge chalks it up to Mexican demigods Caifanes and their impending reunion (only taking the stage at Vive Latino and Coachella this year). seasponge doesn’t know who they are, what they are, what they do, what their name means, or why they’re so big (and why would he/she?), but he/she does know that Mexico is big. And that Mexico is near California. And that there are a shit ton of Mexicans in both Mexico and California. So seasponge deduces that Caifanes are THE main reason why Coachella sold out so quickly. Because when in doubt, blame the Mexicans. His solution: Kill Caifanes! Or something like that.
I don’t think this is what Christopher Nolan had in mind. And even if Caifanes are like Obama popular, like french fries popular (ja!), not sure we can scapegoat the Mexicans for this one. I know, I know. BUMMER. Such an easy target.
So let’s all let out a collective LOL and scroll through the other posts, but if you’re too lazy, then here’s a recap of the some of the best posts on the Coachella message board. Some resort to the classic “Mexicans are poor” mentality (what a knee slapper! these jokes never get old, right? right?), some exhibit awesome self hatred, and others proclaim their love of Latina coitus. But a select few predict a mass Mexican exodus from Coachella post Caifanes. Interesting.
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