Okei Cupid: María, Love Me 5 Times

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“What is Love?” Hell, I don’t want to begin touching on the topic. But instead, I’ll touch on the topic of dating, via the Internet. Sure, it’s ideal to meet your fair share of lovers at parks, the deli, concerts, parties, but the Internet? Well, I’m no expert, and I do spend a great deal on the internet cause it’s my job to do so, I figured it’s also a good way eliminate all those obvious psychopaths and con artists (which I’ve had my fair share of, don’t ask), and to connect with cool people even if it’s just friendly, ya know.

So, a few of us here in the office got into this fad. Yep… online dating. Including one of my fellow editors here, who scored big time and is now going “steady.” So, I want to put a big, gigantic lens on my lovely coworker María, who actually hasn’t entered this area of the cyber realm. Indeed, we owe her big time for making our lives run smoother in this chaotic world of media. So I dragged this single, Puertorriqueña lady and interrogated her with some Q’s about her love life and made her share some of her favorite qualities with all of us, and hey maybe she won’t have to spend her V day dateless.

Also, to commemorate this day, I want to invite you to revisit last year’s mournful playlist, “Fuck You, Amor” (which also features our poster girl) and this random one we did about breakups, “Me Siento Lonely.” Yah, we’re a bunch of lonely fuckers, on occasion. But don’t think we left you without a new playlist. At the bottom of this brief interview with our lovely María, find odes to artists that have written songs about a special María. Yeah, we purposely left out Ricky Martin and a few other cheese balls.

To possibly score a date with María, email tips@remezcla.com and send photos! Happy V day!

So María, tell us what are you doing in your life nowadays?

I always strive to lead a happy life, and with that in mind, I am currently developing my own company in creative consulting, design, branding, PR, and event production. In order to do that, I’m working three jobs a week. First, running Remezcla three days a week, where I do all the coordinating and administrating for the company. Second, for two days a week, I’m working on the company I’m developing with my sister where I focus on branding and PR in fashion, lifestyle, and beauty. And third, on several days and nights, I am running a record store in the East Village, Tropicalia in Furs. That’s a recent thing.

What do you like to do for fun? Hobbies?

As a hobby, I love dancing. I’m very passionate about dancing and music, specifically, percussion such as salsa, mambo –anything percussion related. I also impersonate Iris Chacón, and I’m also part of a hand drum band, pleneros, it’s a folkloric style of music from Puerto Rico, la plena. So I sing and play hand drums, like in a band, other days.

What are three words that will describe you?

Happy, friendly and sexy 😉 Or maybe I should put intelligent somewhere in there [laughs]. I can only say three?!

What do you like to do in the weekends for leisure?

During the day, I usually like one-on-ones with friends — going to brunch, having coffee — reconnecting with friends during the day. I like running at the park during the mornings, and at night, party! And that could be beers in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, or dancing in the Lower East Side, speakeasy, or salsa.

What’s your favorite foods and music?

One of the things that I’m always craving is guacamole, believe it or not, me being from Puerto Rico. I could eat it at any time. I’m also a meat eater; stakes, or beef with rice and beans. That’s my favorite Puerto Rican meal. For music, I’m pretty open, but I specifically like salsa, like old school salsa; Fania, El Barreto, you know, anything that is danceable and upbeat. I also love Brazilian music, tropicalia; Jorge Ben. Also anything with deep lyrics, like from today’s time, such as Jorge Drexler, Concha Buika…

What are your guilty pleasures?

Um, cleaning?! Ok, well dancing… in the living room… by myself. Dancing in front of the mirror when I’m alone [laughs].

What qualities do you look for in men?

Ooh, well, friendly, happy, intelligent, outgoing, handsome, hot, hot, hot! [laughs]

So describe your perfect date.

Going out to a good dinner, cause I love eating.

What would be the price range of that dinner? Would it be on the high end for it to be perfect, or you don’t care if you’re eating hotdogs on the corner of Union Square?

Well, I don’t necessarily care with the right company, BUT definitely something closer to the high end, like a “best food” restaurants, so if it’s in that end, I’ll be SUPER impressed. Actually, this could be good: drinks, dinner, then dancing.

So, what are you doing tonight for Valentine’s day?

I’m not sure yet. But actually somebody asked me yesterday what I was doing? So I said I wasn’t sure cause I don’t have a Valentine’s date yet. Though, I was invited to the Nacotheque party [Heartbeats], so most likely I’ll be going to that.

Anything private willing to admit?

Oh shit! [Laughs] Well, I thought about it but I’m not sure if I should say this in public.

Ok, boxers or briefs?

[Laughs] Briefs.

Any last words for readers/future lover boys?

We’ll be there at the Nacotheque party, so anyone who’s open to dating should go. [And check out the random “María Playlist” below…ok, Isabela said that.]

By Cafe Tacvba

Come on! Who doesn’t like this song? Listening to those eloquently strummed nylon strings and that gorgeous arpeggiated intro, reassures my love for Cafeta. “María” is about a lonely-driven sex worker, and Café Tacvba sings it with heartfelt convictions. This track came out in the groups self-titled debut album and marked a new generation of Mexican rock music soon after.

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By Gipsy Kings

When the large-piece group of the Gipsy Kings came onto the scene in around the ’80s, they were the next sensationalized thing of the “real” gypsy music of the 1930s they claim they ascended to. Heck, they seriously had the fancy flamenco fretwork and those crude, gypsy-like vocals. They also remind me of my first car ever, a 1987 Nissan Maxima, and the only cassette I had in that car (yah, lame) was the Gispy Kings Greatest Hits. Anyhow, this song definitely can pick ones booty up to go and dance. I can already see our María getting down.

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By Santana ft. ft Wyclef and The Product G&B

We’re totally giving ya a throwback. But check this out, the actual name “María” is at a decline, and back in the ’90s and further down decades when all Latin mothers named one of their girls María, well those girls got a lot older and have refused to continue passing down the name. So enjoy those R&B vocals, groovy bass lines, and spanish flamenco melodies and electric guitar, played by Carlos Santana [insert solo].

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By Blondie

Even Blondie jumped in the bandwagon with titling tracks, “Maria” (no accent on the “i”). This song, off the group’s 1999 album No Exit, was the iconic New Yorkers attempt of a comeback, since probably their last hit single “War Child” back in the early ’80s. Nonetheless, this certain Ave Maria must have been a big catch, because Debbie Harris gets sinister singing about dying and for her and all.

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By Green Day

Um, ok, no comment.

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Go ahead and tell us what “María” track we didn’t include and should have. Also, email María at tips@remezcla.com to possibly score a date with our María! Send photos please.