How does one even begin to describe la barbaridad that is Cristiano Ronaldo scoring eight goals in two games over a four-day period?! I don’t care if it’s against “weaker rivals,” if three of the eight goals were scored from the penalty spot (including one that should not have been given), or if – for whatever reason – you choose to downplay the superstar’s heroic accomplishments. Even for el crack portugués, this is a truly unheard of feat.
After blowing Espanyol out of the water with a repoker, Cristiano went on to score three more goals last night in Real Madrid’s 2015-16 Champions League debut (en route to la undécima?). Now, he finds himself just one goal away from equaling Raúl’s 323 tally and becoming the club’s all-time leading goalscorer across competitions. And guess what? It has taken him a decade less than Raúl to get there.
But wait, there’s more.
Last night’s hat trick marked Cristiano’s 33rd for the Madrid team, surpassing Messi (32) as the player with the most hat tricks for a Spanish club in the history of fútbol.
He also became the máximo goleador in the history of the Champions League with a grand total of 80 strikes, a number that we know will only continue to grow from here. Are you kidding me…?! These stats are almost too unbelievable to be true. This guy is out of his damn mind (and I love it; don’t get me wrong).
Cristiano himself has been over the moon; after two goal-less games and media declaring “Ronaldo in crisis,” his haters can (read: should) take a seat and just let the man work his magic.
As always, he insists that while individual accolades are great, his ultimate goal is to win titles with Real Madrid. “The team has helped me a ton. My peers have always believed in me.”
He’ll go for the record on Saturday when Real Madrid faces Granada at the Santiago Bernabéu. Let’s not forget that he dropped five on the side from the south of Spain no less than a few months ago.
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