Sepp Blatter Continues to Receive FIFA President Salary Despite 8-Year Ban From World Soccer

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Sepp Blatter is “still a punching ball,” fam. But here’s the catch: he’s a punching ball that’s trending worldwide, a punching ball that’s still being paid a FIFA salary – undoubtedly receiving boatloads of money despite an eight-year ban from any and all fútbol-related activities. WTF.

Is this some sort of sick and twisted joke? I wish. If only it were that easy.

According to Andreas Bantel, a spokesperson for FIFA’s Audit and Compliance Committee, the compensation sub-committee recently ruled that it could stop Sepp’s bonuses, but not his salary. Go figure that the modern-day mobster already had some sweet deal in place in order to ensure that he would continue to reel in the big bucks, despite Loretta Lynch throwing down the hammer of justice.

“Until the election of a new president on February 26, Mr. Blatter is the elected president and therefore – according to his contract – is entitled to receive his remuneration,” said Bantel. But look, surely there has to be some clause that says, “Hey, if you authorized over $2 million dollars worth of funds that violated FIFA ethics, we’re simply not going to continue to pay your damn salary.” Right?! Ugh.

Attempting to write about FIFA antics is getting more comical with every passing day. And hey, we’re just getting started – the televised FIFA presidential debate is only ten days away. Stay tuned.