The 15 Most WTF News Stories of 2015

1

Donald Trump in 2015

When Donald Trump announced his candidacy in June, he said some pretty disgusting, uneducated stuff about Mexico. His now oft-quoted speech was just the beginning, however. Since then, Trump has continued to insult immigrants, women, and many of the people he’s supposed to be winning over.

Trump has been leading in the polls – even though what he has said should be enough grounds to disqualify him. Worse yet, is that Trump is such a ratings magnet (see: Saturday Night Live) that the media has been disproportionately covering him. FiveThirtyEight reports that Trump is in first place for media coverage – about 54 percent – for the Republican primary. Jeb Bush is in second place with eight percent.

Here’s hoping that there’s Trump fatigue in early 2016.

2

El Chapo Breaks Out of Prison

Perhaps the biggest story of the summer was how one of the biggest drug kingpins in the world, Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman, managed to escape from a high-security prison in Mexico for the second time. El Chapo, who is known for his impressive tunnel work, escaped via a well-ventilated tunnel.

And since early July, we have received little bits and pieces of how the prison break happened. Two videos of the breakout have been released, and the second one showed that prison guards were ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ as they watched El Chapo escape.

In the meantime, we have been entertained by some pretty kooky theories.

3

Dominican Anchor Homero Figueroa Stands Up to the Fart Police, Shows He Has No Chill

Homero Figueroa was probably caught farting on TV, and instead of just trying to lay low like a normal human being, Figueroa and his co-star released a video where they both seriously said that no farting took place. Somehow, he delivered a three-minute message without once saying the word fart.

4

NarcoPaloma Smuggles Marijuana and Cocaine into Costa Rican Jail in Fanny Pack

A pigeon was caught smuggling drugs into a Costa Rican jail via a small pouch, and the Latinternet perfectly dubbed the bird NarcoPaloma. This landed NarcoPaloma at the Centro de Rescate Animal ZooAve, which people protested. But it ended up working for him because NarcoPaloma found true love.

5

DR Senator Does Serious Senate Stuff While Wearing Full-Flag Face Paint

Dominican Republic Senator Charlie Mariotti was so mad at Secretary General of the Organización de Estados Americanos Luis Almagro, who may or may not have suggested that Haiti and DR become one country, that he wasn’t thinking rationally. In response to Almagro’s comments about Haiti and the DR, Mariotti showed up to senate session with his face painted with the Dominican flag on it.

How anyone got any work done that day, I don’t know.

6

This 25-Year-Old Brazilian Mayor Ran Her Town Through WhatsApp and Then Went On the Lam

Brazil is a country that loves themselves some WhatsApp, but one woman took it too far. Social media mayor Lidiane Leite ran Bom Jardim through WhatsApp while she lived 170 miles away. Unfortunately, she wasn’t just laughably incompetent, she was also accused of stealing $4 million from Bom Jardim schools.

She was on the run for about a month, but eventually turned herself in.

7

Donald Trump Kicks Jorge Ramos Out of Press Conference

Even though the 2016 Republican nominee needs 42 to 47 percent of the Latino vote to win the popular vote in the upcoming election, Donald Trump decided to worsen his chances when he took on Jorge Ramos. At an Iowa press conference, Ramos made it impossible for Trump to ignore him. Ramos confronted Trump about his stance on immigration, even though he wasn’t called on.

This got Ramos kicked out of the conference, and Trump once again showed his true colors. “Go back to Univision,” he said.

Eventually, Trump let Ramos back in.

8

After Low Voter Turnout, Comedian Jimmy Morales Is Elected Guatemala’s President

Having a comedian with no experience running a country is pretty WTF on its own, but it’s not just Jimmy Morales’ inexperience that makes him a questionable politician. Morales is also known for performing in blackface and for using the indigenous population for comedy fodder.

There was an air of excitement in Guatemala after former President Otto Pérez Molina stepped down in September, but the emergence of Morales and former first lady Sandra Torres replaced that excitement with apathy. Only 32 percent of people voted in the runoff election, and Morales became president of Guatemala.

9

Brazilian Drug Trafficker Tried to Mrs. Doubtfire His Way Out of Prison

In October, Clodoaldo Antonio Felipe, a 44-year-old drug trafficker, almost broke out of Brazil’s Coronel Odenir Guimaraes Prison after he disguised himself as an old lady. He wore a Hollywood-quality mask, a wig, and a dress, but he was ultimately caught when guards realized they hadn’t let a woman in.

10

Latina Superfan Is Drinking the Trump Kool-Aid But It Might Actually Be Lean

Myriam Witcher is Trump’s No. 1 fan – a title that no Latino should be proud of. At a campaign stop, Witcher came face to face with Trump, who she had been dreaming about, and the presidential candidate got a little handsy with her. It was weird and awkward for everyone involved, but even that wasn’t enough to get her off team Trump.

That same day, she was interviewed by a few media outlets, where she ended up sounding like a mini Trump. “Mexico had no reason to send any Mexican to the United States when Mexico is 1,000 times better off economically than the United States,” she said.

11

Ecuadorian President Rafael Correa Challenged a Congressman to Throw Hands

Rafael Correa doesn’t like to be criticized (but who does?), but he also doesn’t respond rationally when others speak out against him. Correa, who has previously publicly blasted online trolls, had a childish solution to Congressman Andrés Páez’s commentary that he purchased seven faulty helicopters: a fist fight.

No doubt, this is absolutely hilarious, but probably not the best course of action for someone who is running a country.

12

Enrique Peña Nieto in 2015

Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto has not had a good year. Between being called out after he said that Mexico is “a nation fully committed to law, human rights, and peace,” to having his own wife dissing him for all to see, he has reasonably been a punching bag all year long.

One of the highlights of his year was his visit to the Philippines. There, he was treated like royalty because of his conventionally good looks. Pinoys nicknamed him Mexican papi, but because we can’t look past his incompetency, we proposed a trade: EPN for the adorable Balang, a small Filipino boy who is also a Zumba instructor.

13

Despite $1B Investment, the US Has Only Digitized One Immigration Form in 10 Years

In the last 10 years, the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service website has received $1 billion to make their 100+ forms available online and to make the entire process faster. In 10 years, they have only managed to digitize three forms, and two of them had to be removed after they didn’t work properly.

Currently, only the green card renewal/replacement form is available, and you can’t even rely on it working well. The project was originally supposed to be completed by 2013. It’s finally supposed to be ready in another four years.

14

Google Translate Accidentally Causes Spanish Town to Advertise a “Clitoris Festival”

Never ever ever trust Google Translate to do right by you. This is a lesson that the organizers of Spain’s As Ponte rapini festival learned the hard way. The small Galician town was trying to target Spanish speakers, so they typed in the Galician word grelo (a leafy green vegetable) into the translator, and ended up with the Spanish word for clitoris.

Their announcement officially read: “The clitoris is one of the typical products of Galician cuisine. Since 1981 … the festival has made the clitoris one of the star products of its local gastronomy.”

Turns out, Google Translate confused Galician grelo with Portuguese grelo, where it means both a leafy vegetable and clitoris.

15

23-Year-Old Man Charged With Burglary for Stealing His Mother’s Pozole

You’re not a good cook until someone breaks into your house and steals your pozole. That was our takeaway from December’s hilarious news that an Albuquerque man named Jonathan Ray had broken into his mother’s home and made off with her soup like some kind of pozole bandit.

“He opened the door and grabbed that big pot of pozole I had made for my kids,” Ray’s mom told the Albuquerque Journal. “He knew I had made it.”

Ray’s mom was so upset she called the police and pressed charges against her son. Clearly these two have some deep issues to resolve because this incident wasn’t the first time the police have been called to remove Ray from his mother’s house. “He needs help,” she said.

Here’s hoping they can sit down over a good meal and work it out. Because if stealing pozole is wrong, we don’t want to be right.